This game combines the fast paced action of Tetris with the delicate art of archery. Enemy militia keep coming and coming and coming! Use your Elite Longbowman (with enhanced arrows) to kill everything infront of you and clear the board. The first couple of stages are easy, but it gets harder and harder as you progress. Level 12 is nearly impossible, but it can beat! Very straight forward: shoot the enemy militia until there\'s none left!
You should always open an essay with a good point, I am told. Well, in the case of Tetris Massacre!, I am going to do the opposite: there is nothing for you to do. You have a Longbowman with +100 attack below an area surrounded by palisade walls. Militias appear from two corners, and walk to the centre of the area, for your unit to shoot at and kill. The objective is to have no enemy units on the map, but because the suicidal militias are being created at such a rate, you have to kill them faster and faster…but how? An archer has a limited range of fire, and accuracy goes as far as selecting the most stationary unit to shoot at. So you are left with just watching hundreds of little men fall over on the same spot. Amusing when you think about it, but only for a few minutes. The game bears absolutely no resemblance to Tetris at all, and takes forever, especially when you take into account that each level is on a different map. Instead of simply changing the trigger to make the militia appear faster, the player has to load an identical map for each level. How easy would it have been to simply provide a text note that you are going up to the next level and change the trigger? But I’ve talked to much. On with the scores.
Playability: 2 – Vaguely amusing for a while.
Balance: 1 – A +100 longbow against militias? Kiss my arse.
Creativity: 3 – Let’s face it, no-one has ever done anything like it. But is that a bad thing?
Map Design: 2 – The tiny palisade square on the otherwise blank map performs well and looks reasonable.
Story/Instructions: 1 – There are none. Simple as that.
Handy for when you’re drunk, but at other times what little attraction it has soon wears off.