Age of Kings Heaven
Downloads Home
Best Files
Review Guidelines
Main site
Code of Conduct

Advanced Search
Cinematic Scenarios
New Releases
New Reviews
New Comments

Submit File
Browse Categories
New Files
Recent Updates

Download File Post Review Post Comment

I hate snow

Author File Description
File Details
Version: The Conquerors 1.0c
I HATE SNOW ! Cutscene.

For AOK TC patch 1.0c
Modpack : 'Deutsch ohne Muehe' (optional)


Instead of the traditional Christmas cutscene, here's a New-Year's one.
A good occasion to explore another kind of cliche...

Do not expect an aesthetic romantic dream-teaser,with the dialog's words arriving in ones and twos, small spotlighted areas disappearing from the map and sophisticated stuff like that.
It's quite another style, using panoramic views, plenty of half-visible details, and flirting with menacing shadows, to convey this very simple tale full of sound and fury...
And a postcard, even animated, has got something written on the other side.

Congratulations for downloading despite that description, you're brave indeed!

So, let's shake the good old vanilla ?

Zip contents : 1 cpx file + 1 mp3 sound file (not to be opened with MediaPlayer,remember,it may crash the game).I suppose that you already know where to put them .
AuthorReviews   ( All | Comments Only | Reviews Only )
Lord Basse
Official Reviewer
Map Design4.0
Downloading “I Hate Snow”, I was expecting an atmospheric winter scenario about the lamp pictured in the description’s screenshot, perhaps even a little rip-off of Julius999’s “An Unseasonal Tale” since I didn’t know much at all about the designer. I was wrong. Completely wrong. In a completely good way. In fact, I sat laughing through most of the cut-scene. That’s what “I Hate Snow” is, a full cut-scene. And it’s one of those cut-scenes you can laugh at for a good while because their jokes are so good.

“I Hate Snow” is a peculiar, odd laughter fest of a scenario. It starts out giving resemblance to both “An Unseasonal Tale” (the sheep instead of a turkey) and “Legends of Chila” (the star-clattered sky). After fixing the settings and getting the cut-scene started, it transforms immediately into one of the oddest scenes I’ve seen in good scenario. In the background we have some ye olde Teutonic-reggae music playing, on screen there’s skating samurais and a caravan of relic carts driving by in a snowy scene. I was baffled by the scene because of its randomness, and as the game continued on with other such humorous scenes throughout it all, I truly enjoyed this a lot, and I would’ve given this a five if it wasn’t for how the game rushes towards the end. In many scenes, there’s little time to read all the text popping up, even less to click on all renamed objects to get the full joke of the scenario. Otherwise, the humor really builds this short cut-scene, and it deserves a high score.

There’s no fighting included at all.

I doubt this idea has ever been made before, a couple going on vacation to find a perfect spot to spend New Year’s Eve. The way they travel across the alps and down to Nice in just 13 minutes, bringing up a load of jokes that could easily have fit well into an hour-long cut-scene. I don’t want to give away too much, you’ll see it all once you play it, but I can tell you that there is A LOT. To give a few examples; custom officials doing body-searches for the fun of it, Mercedes Benz ads and cannabis plantations in the Alps. The tricks used in the cut-scene are all but new, but there are many of them, and the very map design is creative and suits the cut-scene fantabulously well. Therefore, this deserves a max point here.

The map design suits the story and atmosphere perfectly, and many scenes look really good. One example is the old style village in the Alps. Although there are a few things I’d point out as bad or at least mediocre, the view in all looks quite good. That goes for the entire map, which consists of both snowy landscapes and warm city design. The map design isn’t outstanding, and the Golden Beach looks very silly, although it perhaps emphasized the joke. All in all, very fitting for the style and atmosphere, but certainly not flawless.

There are no objectives except that you’re asked to watch the cut-scene and enjoy it the best you can. The instructions are clear and easily understandable and leave little room for the watcher to err. There is a story, quite a humorous one with plenty of good jokes, but it is quite hard to follow. Since most of the scenes flash by, there’s little time to grasp everything that’s going on. The shallow characters make for some good laughs and funny scenes, but they’re not interesting in any other aspect. The fact that small parts of the instructions are written in German doesn’t make things easier for me, this because I speak German about as good as pigs do bungee-jumping with hemp-ropes.

ALL IN ALL: A very humorous cut-scene that makes for many good laughs. Certainly worth a download, although it’s hardly one of those classics you can play over and over again. If you’re feeling down and need a good laugh, this is a good dose of effective medicine.

(Note: I played the game without the mod pack because I simply couldn't find it in the Blacksmith)
Official Reviewer
Map Design5.0
Playability: 5
I Hate Snow is a very enjoyable cutscene. It is full of humour and it is very unique. It has a great map design and a funny story to accompany it. I really enjoyed watching it and it is a cinematic I could watch over and over again

Balance: 4
I Hate Snow has no sound effect but a beautiful 6 minute piece of Music which accompanies the cutscene. The whole scenario flows really well with the music. The “timer” triggers all work perfectly making the text run smoothly. Although at some points the dialog went too fast for me to read.

Creativity: 5
I Hate Snow is a very creative cutscene. It is full of great humour and unique dialog. The map design is great and filled with great eye-candy. It has a good story to it too. I really like all the renamed objects, especially the cars. The names were awesome.

Map Design: 5
I Hate Snow has an outstanding Map Design It is filled with cliffs, elevation and lots of great eye-candy. The use of GAIA objects is also outstanding. There are paths and plants and animals. The GAIA objects make a huge improvement to the Map Design. The towns are also spread out and the trees are all individually placed. A great map Design for a great Cutscene

Story/Instructions: 4
I Hate Snow has great instructions and are very clear and understandable. The story is really funny and unique but it flashes past too quickly and you don’t have time to read all the dialog and grasp the story before it changes. I Hate Snow has a good story but it needs to be slower so the watcher can understand what is going on.

Additional Comments:
A great and very funny cutscene!
A recommended watch!

NOTE: I did not use the Mod Pack as I couldn’t find it anywhere.


Post Review Post Comment

HGDL v0.8.0

Forum Username:


Create a new account
Forgot password?
Map Design4.5
Favorites: [Who?]2
Size:7.34 MB