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Topic Subject:Post your favourite Monty Python sketches
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four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 05-22-08 07:26 PM CT (US)         
AuthorReplies:
ax_man1
Squire
posted 05-22-08 08:10 PM CT (US)     1 / 29       
Apparently they're no longer up, but about a year ago someone had done a dozen Monty Python and the Holy Grail scenes with clips from Sonic X.

ax_man1

Owner of a post 500, 1000, 1500, 2000, and 2500
Not all are in the same thread, but 4 of them are
NeverFinished
Squire
posted 05-22-08 08:43 PM CT (US)     2 / 29       
Mr. Neville Shunt

This scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Scene 3


[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind
you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!
If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,
[angels sing]
her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur
from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?


Monty Python has such endless possibilities for different performances. Here's a link with all the scripts (I think) for all the skethces

Sorry for not giving video links...it takes hours to load videos on my computer...

--->n i

/*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*N e v e r F i ____ s h e d*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*\

...the ESTEEMED, BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY...NF~Aro
Evil Tailor
Squire
(id: Other White Meat)
posted 05-23-08 06:58 AM CT (US)     3 / 29       
My personal favourite is Argument Clinic. John Cleese and Michael Palin are excellent together, like in Silly Walks and Cheese Shop, which are some of the... amongst my very favourites are such sketches as...
Oh, and Life of Brian is full of great gags too numerous to list.

"While I'm profaning I might as well do the whole f*cking thing."
-- Christopher Hitchens
http://soundcloud.com/adult-entertainment - Intriguing music! Made by me! (It's excellent!)
morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 05-23-08 07:38 AM CT (US)     4 / 29       
Faddy stole mah link.

Nudge nudge is so lol.

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four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 05-23-08 07:51 AM CT (US)     5 / 29       
Monty Python has such endless possibilities for different performances. Here's a link with all the scripts (I think) for all the skethces
Quite true. It's not like regular comedy that follows a routine of set-up/build-up/punch-line. Monty Python was very much free for all. Take, for example, Terry Gilliam's short movie The Crimson Permanent Assurance. There are no jokes or punch-lines, just 16 minutes of middle-aged financial workers acting like lunatics and stabbing people with swords. And you know what? It's ridiculously funny.
Nudge nudge is so lol.
Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean, say no more!
Julius999
Imposter
posted 05-23-08 10:56 AM CT (US)     6 / 29       
I remember the Crimson Permanent Assurance! Pity The Meaning of Life was just rubbish.

1010011010
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Evil Tailor
Squire
(id: Other White Meat)
posted 05-23-08 02:16 PM CT (US)     7 / 29       
Pity The Meaning of Life was just rubbish.
I thought it was fine, though a bit short on really good gags at some points unlike Life of Brian or The Holy Grail, which were both quite close to a non-stop laugh fest. Especially the death part gets tedious before long.
But as good as the movies are the series just was something, um, completely different? Well not that, but that was the real thing. Most people only know the movies if even them. Luckily they've started selling the seasons on DVD and I, for one, have bought them all. Season 4 sucks though (no Cleese? Please! Wow that rhymed!)

"While I'm profaning I might as well do the whole f*cking thing."
-- Christopher Hitchens
http://soundcloud.com/adult-entertainment - Intriguing music! Made by me! (It's excellent!)
Julius999
Imposter
posted 05-23-08 02:36 PM CT (US)     8 / 29       
Well, I didn't like it. Monty Python doesn't really work if it isn't making you laugh.

One of my favourite sketches is Blackmail, anyone remember that one?

1010011010
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Member of Stormwind Studios
Evil Tailor
Squire
(id: Other White Meat)
posted 05-23-08 02:43 PM CT (US)     9 / 29       
I think Blackmail would be a terrific TV show concept! Far better than Survivor or bloody E Entertainment.

"While I'm profaning I might as well do the whole f*cking thing."
-- Christopher Hitchens
http://soundcloud.com/adult-entertainment - Intriguing music! Made by me! (It's excellent!)
Julius999
Imposter
posted 05-23-08 02:56 PM CT (US)     10 / 29       
It could actually work. People are so desperate to get onto television that they'd probably hand in incriminating documents voluntarily.

1010011010
[ All_That_Glitters | Pretty_Town_Contest | Other_AoK_Designs | AoE_Designs ]
Member of Stormwind Studios
four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 05-23-08 06:27 PM CT (US)     11 / 29       
Dirty Fork Sketch

It takes a while to get going, keep watching to the end. "YOU BASTARDS! YOU VICIOUS HEARTLESS BASTARDS!"
Cobra the Mediocre
Squire
(id: The_Cobra_81)
posted 05-23-08 09:27 PM CT (US)     12 / 29       
Tought choice, really, but I think I'm going to have to go with The Philosopher's Football Match. Some of the best comedy, I think, comes from mashing two completely unrelated things together and simply following through to the (il)logical conclusion.

I'd be a traitor to the TC if I also didn't mention Spam.

Cobra the Mediocre
SteadilY working up to Average
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
(Age of Kings Heaven) (The Renegades)
NeverFinished
Squire
posted 05-24-08 00:49 AM CT (US)     13 / 29       
Oh man...all such classics.


Upper-class twit of the year

Confuse-a-cat

Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook

--->n i

/*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*N e v e r F i ____ s h e d*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*\

...the ESTEEMED, BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY...NF~Aro

[This message has been edited by NeverFinished (edited 05-24-2008 @ 00:56 AM).]

nav
Squire
(id: nav_2004)
posted 05-24-08 09:42 AM CT (US)     14 / 29       
Have any of you seen Spamalot? I was fortunate enough to get to see the traveling Broadway show when it came to a nearby city this spring. Personally, I feel like it's as good as anything Monty Python has done. I especially like The Song That Goes Like This, although I Am Not Yet Dead, Whatever Happened To My Part, the song about making it on Broadway, and the Finland song were all hilarious too.

I don't know if they're doing Spamalot internationally or not, but if you get the chance to see it, go.



(This space intentionally left blank.)
four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 05-25-08 06:37 AM CT (US)     15 / 29       
Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook
"Please...fondle...my...buttocks!"
LongBowHurtsBad
Squire
posted 05-25-08 11:12 AM CT (US)     16 / 29       
God i loved the one where king aurther is fighting with the French dudes. classic.

~Quotes from the Heart~

"Get off my lawn"-Clint eastwood
"My name is Bill Clinton and im about to get laid" -Bill
"Spartans! Its time...to stomp the yard!"-Leonidas
"When you get hit by a Longbow, it will probably hurt, bad"-George Bush
NeverFinished
Squire
posted 05-26-08 02:57 PM CT (US)     17 / 29       
"Please...fondle...my...buttocks!"
There's another sketch that's kind of a continuation of that one where you find out that in the phrasebook, "I would like to fondle your buttocks" means "where is the post office". A little later in the sketch, it shows a clip of the hungarian guy and a police officer:

I would like to fondle your buttocks

Excuse me?

I would like to fondle your buttocks

Oh yes! Just down the street past the traffic lights on the left.



It goes something like that, I can't quite remember exactly though.

--->n i

/*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*N e v e r F i ____ s h e d*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*\

...the ESTEEMED, BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY...NF~Aro
Jatayu
Squire
(id: Sword_of_STORM)
posted 06-04-08 02:21 PM CT (US)     18 / 29       
Bicycle repairman is the best ever. Also another one called the funniest joke in the world.

*too tired to bother with youtube links*

,
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Cobra the Mediocre
Squire
(id: The_Cobra_81)
posted 06-04-08 07:56 PM CT (US)     19 / 29       
I'll go ahead and do it for you.

Bicycle RepairMan

The Funniest Joke in the World

I also want to mention Albatross, one of their shorter sketches.

Of course you don't get bloody wafers with it!

Cobra the Mediocre
SteadilY working up to Average
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
(Age of Kings Heaven) (The Renegades)
NeverFinished
Squire
posted 06-04-08 09:12 PM CT (US)     20 / 29       
ALBATROSS!



Also,

Hitler: My dog has no nose!
Soldiers: How does it smell?
Hitler: Awful!




Oh no, the bike is broken...



It's bicycle repair man to the rescue!!!

--->n i

/*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*N e v e r F i ____ s h e d*~-._.-~*~-._.-~*\

...the ESTEEMED, BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY...NF~Aro
Chocolate Jesus
Squire
(id: trebuchet king)
posted 06-05-08 01:25 AM CT (US)     21 / 29       


LO, FOR I DANGLE MY SUPERIORITY BEFORE YOU LIKE DEAD CHICKENS ABOVE AN ALLIGATOR

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
Eating as much as an elephant eats?
What are you at getting terribly fat?
What do you think will come of that?
"Actually, my foreskin was stuck at the point where the pink bulb starts, and they cut it free."-Stroke
"Tonight, I pulled it back a bit too far and the opening of my foreskin is stuck beneath the head of my penis." -Pears
Evil Tailor
Squire
(id: Other White Meat)
posted 06-05-08 01:50 AM CT (US)     22 / 29       
"Please...fondle...my...buttocks!"
My favourite bit in this sketch is when they're taking the Hungarian bloke away and he yells: 'My nipples explode with pleasure!'

"While I'm profaning I might as well do the whole f*cking thing."
-- Christopher Hitchens
http://soundcloud.com/adult-entertainment - Intriguing music! Made by me! (It's excellent!)
Solivago
Squire
posted 06-09-08 11:48 PM CT (US)     23 / 29       
Monty Python is greatness indeed. I admire them best when came to blatant absurdism, like when they take great historic names and shove them into irrelevant plots. (Jean Sartre with Ms. Premise and Ms. Conclusion, Tchaikovsky performance mixed with a Houdini act, the bike marathon with Picasso, Kandinsky, Mondrian..and let's not forget Philosopher Ball!)

I actually liked the self-referential/fourth-wall ones the best.

  • How Not to be Seen. Awesome one where documentary becomes a psychotic extermination camp

  • Deja vu The feeling we've done something...before...

  • Njorl's Saga This sketch needs more sponsoring from Malden

    There's some great stuff too stretching onto their motion pictures...well, besides the Holy Grail and its holy hilarity. My favorite part in The Meaning of Life was the surreal scene where you had to "Find the Fishhhhh!...Where's the fish?!?!?" I liked the Confuse-a-Cat sketch too, but somebody already mentioned it.

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    [This message has been edited by Solivago (edited 06-09-2008 @ 11:55 PM).]

  • Jatayu
    Squire
    (id: Sword_of_STORM)
    posted 06-16-08 07:07 PM CT (US)     24 / 29       
    I saw Monty Python and the holy Grail all over again. That movie is a classic.

    ,
    Jatayu O===| /
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    Ornlu
    Recreational Procreator
    posted 06-17-08 06:57 AM CT (US)     25 / 29       
    Is it just me then who's never seen what's brilliant about Monthy Python? I've given them a chance, but it disappoints every time.

    None of us are free, one of us is chained.
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