You must be logged in to post messages.
Please login or register

Town's Crier
Moderated by Major Helper

Hop to:    
Welcome! You are not logged in. Please Login or Register.17 replies
Age of Kings Heaven » Forums » Town's Crier » Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Bottom
Topic Subject:Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Tanneur99
HG Alumnus
posted 09-04-08 09:46 PM CT (US)         
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

What would have been your answer?



HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on an University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
AuthorReplies:
Hailstorm65
Squire
posted 09-04-08 09:50 PM CT (US)     1 / 17       
Holy crap that is confusing but very very correct!

Senior Member

Know god, No fear
No god, Know fear
sly_guy
Squire
posted 09-04-08 09:53 PM CT (US)     2 / 17       
This actually made me laugh. It's far and away the best thing I've read in a while.

- ک

Ladies and Gentlemen, wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

This message has been brought to you by procrastination and the letters K and V.
nav
Squire
(id: nav_2004)
posted 09-04-08 09:58 PM CT (US)     3 / 17       
I've seen this before, but it's still well done. I wonder if this really was written on a test (kudos to the student who managed to make this whole thing up on the spot) or if it's one of those things that has gotten better the more times it has been repeated.



(This space intentionally left blank.)
Aro
AoKH Dictator
posted 09-04-08 11:10 PM CT (US)     4 / 17       
I've heard this one before, funny stuff. Wouldn't imagine it being true, but there was another variation on bash.org that I enjoyed too:
<lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
<lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
<lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
<lib1790> As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
<lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
<lib1790> So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
<liv1790> Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
<lib1790> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
<lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit

» Your attractive master.
» "Because I before E is a LIE!!!"
Luke Gevaerts
Squire
posted 09-05-08 00:05 AM CT (US)     5 / 17       
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
Pics or it never happened.

Luke Gevaerts » Website · YouTube · Backloggery

"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that.
I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." - Frank Zappa

OD · AoKH
four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 09-05-08 01:04 AM CT (US)     6 / 17       
Evil Tailor
Squire
(id: Other White Meat)
posted 09-05-08 04:36 AM CT (US)     7 / 17       
I think the last bit is especially funny if you imagine it's Mother Teresa (though she's dead, but anyway).
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
At this I laughed.

"While I'm profaning I might as well do the whole f*cking thing."
-- Christopher Hitchens
http://soundcloud.com/adult-entertainment - Intriguing music! Made by me! (It's excellent!)

[This message has been edited by Other White Meat (edited 09-05-2008 @ 04:37 AM).]

morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 09-05-08 08:47 AM CT (US)     8 / 17       
Tanneur, you should post here more often.

Morgoth Bauglir/Quaazi - BORINGMETAL HEADTWAT
Huidin's Belief - The Siege (4.4) - 2475 - Birth Of The Uruk-Hai (4.1) (Best Sound of 2008)
Signature currently under construction. If you want to help out and provide me with the resources needed, download from the above links.
Surge
Squire
(id: Lt_Surge99)
posted 09-05-08 09:13 AM CT (US)     9 / 17       
Actually morgoth, you should follow his example. Quality over quantity.

"Especially awe-inspiring is the fact that any single brain is made up of atoms that were forged in the hearts of countless stars billions of years ago... These atoms now form a conglomerate – your brain – that can not only ponder the very stars that gave it birth but can also think about its own ability to think and wonder about its own ability to wonder. With the arrival of humans…the universe has suddenly become conscious of itself. This, truly, is the greatest mystery of all." - Rama
morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 09-05-08 09:33 AM CT (US)     10 / 17       
That's an excuse for pennypiching.

Morgoth Bauglir/Quaazi - BORINGMETAL HEADTWAT
Huidin's Belief - The Siege (4.4) - 2475 - Birth Of The Uruk-Hai (4.1) (Best Sound of 2008)
Signature currently under construction. If you want to help out and provide me with the resources needed, download from the above links.
Lord Basse
MI6 Scenario-Making Machine
posted 09-05-08 09:47 AM CT (US)     11 / 17       

__[]_________
|||||||||||||||||
The ||||||||||||||||| Hus
OF | [/ \] |¯| [/ \] | ME
______________________________________________________________________________ |__ _ |¯|____|_______________________________________________________________________________
The Relics of Athalën (5.0) | AoK Opus - 95,000+ downloads | StormWind Studios | "I consider the conversion of Basse to be one of the great triumphs of my modding crusade" - Matt LiVecchi
Jatayu
Squire
(id: Sword_of_STORM)
posted 09-05-08 09:51 AM CT (US)     12 / 17       
I actually read this joke 3-4 years ago in a newspaper.. but in that one he was unable to sleep with Teresa and concluded that hell was exothermic

,
Jatayu O===|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯/
`
Battle of Saraighat, 1671|Atlantis, the Lost Realm|AOE Roman Modpack|My profile
ि
StormWind Studios

[This message has been edited by Jatayu (edited 09-05-2008 @ 09:54 AM).]

Gwame
Squire
posted 09-05-08 09:59 AM CT (US)     13 / 17       
Ah, but what are Teresa's credentials?

MY NAME IS GWAME I AM AOKH MEMBER SINCE 2004 AND I HAVE MANY POSTS
BEST SIG OF 2008 AND 2ND BEST SIG OF 2009 (SAME SIG LOLOL)
BEST SIG OF 2008
92% of teenagers have moved on to rap music. If you're on of the 8% that still listens to real music, copy this into your signature.
"^`'*-=~+,._.,+~=-*'`^" "Gwame your sig ain't funny nomore." - morgoth bauglir"^`'*-=~+,._.,+~=-*'`^"
Eaglehaslanded
Squire
posted 09-05-08 11:59 AM CT (US)     14 / 17       
The last time I saw that joke it was a physics student...

.^/¯/        Eaglehaslanded
  \  /~   
  ///      You, sir, are a wench - Scud
 '' ''     You, Sir, are a wrench - Reach
Cobra the Mediocre
Squire
(id: The_Cobra_81)
posted 09-05-08 01:18 PM CT (US)     15 / 17       
What would have been your answer?
Since the lowest level of hell is the coldest, I'd say it's endothermic, but that would mean whatever's outside of hell is a lot warmer. I take issue with why it's supposedly cold, but that's another problem entirely. The whole mass balance part of the proof is moot because souls pretty obviously don't have mass.

Cobra the Mediocre
SteadilY working up to Average
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
(Age of Kings Heaven) (The Renegades)
Eaglehaslanded
Squire
posted 09-05-08 02:43 PM CT (US)     16 / 17       
I see no reason why it cannot be in equilibrium.

.^/¯/        Eaglehaslanded
  \  /~   
  ///      You, sir, are a wench - Scud
 '' ''     You, Sir, are a wrench - Reach
Mash
Huskarl
(id: Mashek)
posted 09-05-08 06:31 PM CT (US)     17 / 17       
Ah, yes, I saw this printed out and hanging on a wall in my classroom a fortnight ago. Quite funny.
You must be logged in to post messages.
Please login or register

Hop to:    

Age of Kings Heaven | HeavenGames