So when I woke up this morning, the FIRST thing I did was to TAKE A BATH IN FREEDOM, and then I went into my closet to GET DRESSED IN JUSTICE. Afterward, I proceeded to CALL MY BROTHER WITH HOPE so I could ask him for CHANGE so I can buy myself some ILLEGAL FIREWORKS for tonight. I took a deep breath afterward, so my LUNGS OF DEMOCRACY could inhale POLLUTED AIR!
Yeah, so uh, my old home town is filled with disease-ridden patriots today, and I got to be a part of the flock this morning, watching the parade, where the high school band marched and played Bon Jovi's delightfully inappropriate "You Give Love a Bad Name". There were plenty of hot girls to check out too, which was nice! I mean... I only noticed because, you know, I wanted to honor my country's women.
What did you flag-waving zealots do? Decorate your house red, white and blue? Vote? Vote Republican?! Share what you did to prove your patriotic spirit to your neighbors on the FOURTH OF JULY!
inb4 bitter Europeans and/or British (no hard feelings, mommy, but we didn't like your taxes to be completely honest! I mean, a tea tax?! We didn't even like tea that much, but damn it! DAMN IT! WHY THE TEA?! HUH?! Next you'll tax STAMPS -- oh wait, YOU DID!!!)
Asians -- we both threw off the Euro oppressors, so word up! Celebrate with us!
» Your attractive master.
» "Because I before E is a LIE!!!"
Yeah, so uh, my old home town is filled with disease-ridden patriots today, and I got to be a part of the flock this morning, watching the parade, where the high school band marched and played Bon Jovi's delightfully inappropriate "You Give Love a Bad Name". There were plenty of hot girls to check out too, which was nice! I mean... I only noticed because, you know, I wanted to honor my country's women.
What did you flag-waving zealots do? Decorate your house red, white and blue? Vote? Vote Republican?! Share what you did to prove your patriotic spirit to your neighbors on the FOURTH OF JULY!
inb4 bitter Europeans and/or British (no hard feelings, mommy, but we didn't like your taxes to be completely honest! I mean, a tea tax?! We didn't even like tea that much, but damn it! DAMN IT! WHY THE TEA?! HUH?! Next you'll tax STAMPS -- oh wait, YOU DID!!!
Asians -- we both threw off the Euro oppressors, so word up! Celebrate with us!
» Your attractive master.
» "Because I before E is a LIE!!!"