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Age of Kings Heaven » Forums » Town's Crier » Splash Splash Screenplay - The Arocracy Rules
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Topic Subject:Splash Splash Screenplay - The Arocracy Rules
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Aro
AoKH Dictator
posted 09-21-08 05:35 PM CT (US)         
THE SPLASH SPLASH SCREENPLAY: THE AROCRACY RULES

Scroll to bottom...


Screenplay Pt. I
By Aro

*BOOOM*

Narrator: Bombs rock the screen as Splash Splashers run across the blistered battlefield of the Town's Crier! The sun has disappeared behind a thick layer of fog, as the dark landscape crumbles with every explosion! The world is blackened, scorched, something right out of the Lord of the Rings movie. This is truly the most epic battle the Splash Splash crew has ever endured! Ever!! ARRRRGH! MY SPENXORX!

GoC: Watch out guys!
Surge: Another spam bomb! Duck!
Morgoth: What are hell?!
Cobra: What?!
Morgoth: What are hell!!
Cobra: What?!?!
Nav: Let's get to the ship! We can't save the Crier!
Morgoth: What are hell!!

Narrator: While the crew rushes to the mighty ship "Cow Gone Mad", the armies of the Arocracy march forward, armed with nothing but pure force and style. One sinister figure in the shade shoves the grey Crazed Monkey flag into the ashes of what was once a beautiful forum thread. The figure walks forward, his grey-uniformed guards walking by his side. He smirks, the top of his head hidden by the shadows and a well-designed hood; but his body, outlined in an orangish orange... this was the invader. This was the leader. This was the the. Out of the darkness, a familiar face emerges by his side.

Scud: My Il-Duce-
???: That's a stupid name.
Scud: My apologies, Lord God and Savior. I have erected a new tower, a new Splash Splash, which we can use to replace the old one.
???: And what of the old Splash Splash?
Scud: They escaped on that ship, the Cow Gone Mad, sir. They are afraid of your god-like aura.
???: *Snorts.*
Scud: Want me to handle that sir?
???: Please do.
Scud: *Puts a hankerchief up to the figure's nose.* Blow sir.
???: Right-o. *Blows.*

Narrator: Meanwhile, while the mysterious figure blows, the crew has boarded the Cow Gone Mad, quickly sailing away from the ruins of the Town's Crier...

Nav: We got away!
GoC: Yes!
Warlord: Oh yeah!
Basse: Goodles!
Morgoth: Awesome!
All: ...
Cobra: What does "What are hell?" mean?
Morgoth: My keys were sticking.
All: ...
Morgoth: They were.
GoC: What do we do now? We have no home port. The Arocrats own the Town's Crier.
Morgoth: We could port in Scenario Design.
All: ...
Morgoth: No no, screw this, if you fools are going to pick on me throughout this entire story, I'm done! That was a legitimate suggestion! Scenario Design! Why not?! Huh?!
GoC: Alright. Anybody familiar with today's Scenario Design forum?
All: ...
Basse: I've been there, long ago, but... since the Great Arocratic War, I-
Ornlu: Let's just wing it. I'm impatient, and it couldn't hurt. I really needs me a steak.
GoC: Alright then! Nav, set sail to Scenario Design.
Morgoth: *beams*
Epic: That is, just truly, the best route for us to take! Brillaint suggestion Mr. Morgoth! This boat, our beautiful Cow Gone Mad, has taken quite a beating from our recent attempt, our recent mission, to rescue the Crier and their Splash Splash prisoners. I couldn't... I just couldn't possibly stand to see her get hurt any more than she has! She's... so beautiful. It pains me so much! So... so very much....
Ornlu: Wow... your passion is amazing, Epic!
Cobra: I'm... I'm actually inspired.
Nav: I haven't seen such a dedication to our ship, and crew, in many years. Thank you, Epic! Heading to Scenario Design, GoC!
Morgoth: *He's* the passionate heroic one?! Epic?! That's bul-

Narrator: The mighty Splash Splash crew sail on, into the beautiful, calm blue waters of the Scenario Design forum. The horizon is golden, the water the brightest shade of blue, the landscape, beautiful... the crew is in awe of the green paradise that lies before them.

Ax: Awwww!
Cobra: Ahhhh.
GoC: Ooo. Ooo yeah.

Narrator: The Splash Splash is stopped by the gentle sands of Scenario Design. The island wreaks of beauty and flowery splendors, rolling hills and-

Other White Meat (OWM): I bet the chicks here are all kinds of hot.
GoC: You know it.
Ax: I feel like sticking my hand in the sand for whatever reaso-

Narrator: *ahem* The Splash Splash crew leaps off of the boat, eager to explore this vast island. They travelled down a bright, golden path, until a figure approached. The Splash Splash Crew stood ready, weapons drawn, eager to cut some throats.

Julius999: My word! Well, greetings, strangers!
GoC: Hi....
Julius: My apologies, I most certainly forgot to introduce myself to you gents! I am Julius Nine Nine Nine, kind sirs! And may I welcome you, ladies and gents, to Scenario Design! 'Tis a fine morning and you, my friends, look *positively* weary! My goodness, my goodness, please come with me! I have a warm meals and bedding for you all! Positively!
GoC: Thanks... I guess.
Morgoth: Yeeeeah, ha! Morgoth should be the captain now, right? Who's dot dot dot'ing now?! I made a great suggestion and you all should be grateful.
Cobra: Thanks for the offer Julius. Although we were initially hesitant to trust your crazy arse, we'd be crazy not to accept.
Ornlu: Do you guys have steak? Or any sort of blood-meat?
Julius999: Of course mate! The finest beef, right from the rib cages of a cow gone mad!
Ornlu: Yes!
Julius999: Positively!
Ornlu: I'm in.
OWM: Do you guys have any wool blankets? I'd prefer wool blankets.
Julius999: But of course mate, carefully sheared from the finest sheep gone mad coats!
OWM: Alright!
Julius999: Positively!
Warlord: Do you guys have any weed?
Julius999: But of cours- uhhh...
Warlord: What?
Julius999: Haha, my apologies! What did you say, mate?
GoC: You're hard of hearing I assume. He asked, "Do you have any weed?"
Warlord: Correction. I asked if "you guys" have any weed, GoC.
GoC: My mistake. He asked if "you guys" have any weed, Jowelmovements.
Julius999: Uh... my apologies mate! We do not carry uh... weed.... But surely we can accomodate you fine gents any other way!
GoC: Oh, so you have beer?
Julius999: Pardon me friend?
Cobra: Sweet jesus.
Nav: What kind of paradise has no weed or beer?
Julius999: Well mate, my apologies, but keep in mind I never called our beloved island a paradise.
Cobra: Oooo, he's getting mouthy.
Surge: Where are my nut pliers?!
Julius999: Gadzooks!
OWM: No, no, we need somewhere to sleep, guys. I need my wool blankets.
Julius999: Thank you White Meat!
OWM: Hey, shut your mouth!
Nav: Nobody gave you permission to speak, thing.
Julius999: My apol-
Surge: Nut pliers!
Julius999: ...
GoC: That's better. OK, bring us to your house, Julia.
Julius999: ...

Narrator: As the crew follows that thing Julius through the beautiful amazonian tribal collective that is Scenario Design, we switch scenes to the ugly crater that was once the Town's Crier. A large tower that touches the clouds lay crooked in the center, bodies scattered below, the smell of rotten spam plaguing the noses of those who are misfortunate enough to-

SonicShadow[SS]: This place smells.
Crimson Knight[CK]: This new empire is awful. And now we're stuck in this cage, in a rotting tower, in a rotting forum. Rottingham palace, if you will.
Bleedteal: I can't believe Aro would do this.
xyz: Dark_Aro became a mod. He was probably driven crazy with power. Decided to use the power for evil. Etc.
trebuchet king[TK]: You'd think the other mods would save us.
xyz: They're *mods*. They're not people. People have compassion. Mods don't.
bleedteal: The Aro I knew was sensitive, kind, very ego-centric and insane. Being power-crazed was one of his "subtle" features.
xyz: Whatever. You people just *wonder* why I'm never around, don't you...
Solivago[NN]: Anyone could articulate such an answer, I assume, yet we would readily wonder why you would assume we'd-
xyz: I get it, alliteration, very nice.
NN: Yeah... gonna be my "gimmick" I guess....
CK: Alright. We've established who the main prisoners are. Now, any plans on how we'll get the hell out of here?

Narrator: The door crashes open! A familiar face walks from up out the do'.

Scud: Muahaha! Oh my, oh me, am I the one defying thee?!
TK: Scud!
NN: Scud?!
Jackie Chan: Scud-san?!
xyz: Ah... Scud's a part of this!
Monk: Monk's in this story too!
Bleedteal: Scud, you slimball.
Scud: No harsh words, my friends. *You're* the traitors, against the great Aro. I gave you a choice, right? Didn't I, Splashers? Give you a choice on whether or not you'd become Arocrats?
NN: Well... he has a point.
Scud: Haha!
TK: Damn it, we should've ran off with the others.
Scud: No, no, the others will be taken care of soon enough. See, the Arocratic Party and the Republic of Aro endorses freedom and free love. We're going to spread these ideas, across the whole of AoKH!
TK: Free love? Then why are people fighting against the Arocrats? People love free love.
Scud: We're socialist. And we kill puppies.
TK: Aha.
Scud: See, soon there will be no place left to hide! The Arocratic Party rules, and I ask you to simply join us, brothers.
xyz: No thanks.
SS: If the Arocratic Party you're endorsing was a potato, you know what I'd do? I'd drop it like it's hot!
All: ...
SS: Just wait... context will save me.
Scud: Guys, you just don't get it. It's not supposed to be a bad thing!
CK: It is though! Don't you understand? Freedom? Republicism? Socialism? Those are *not* Arocratic ideals! And screw the Arocratic party anyway.
SS: Yeah, screw it like it's hot!
CK: Nice.
SS: Thank you.
Scud: Please guys, just try to understand my position. I'm working for the greater good. I'm not some villian or stooge, I'm simply trying my best to make this forum a better place... make Splash Splash a better place.
CK: Get your priorities straight then. Splash Splash is the ultimate authority in the Town's Crier, not some overrated Seraph.
Scud: Guys...
???: *From outside* Scuddles!!
Scud: Yes sir!
???: I need to blow again!
Scud: Coming, my Lord!
All: ...
Scud: His nose.
xyz: Right.
Scud: Well... you guys are still my mates, and I'm not supposed to be giving you this, but here....
bleedteal: What's this?
Scud: Brainwashing drugs, needles full of tranquilizer, and... and I think these one's are truth serum tablets.

*Scud leaves the room.*

xyz: Aww... our favorites.
CK: Good Scuddles must still be in there somewhere.
SS: Yes.
TK: He must.
NN: Be.
Monk: *nods slowly*
Mungo: Mungo!!!

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the Scenario Design forum, the Splash Splash crew arrives, right in the middle of a very active string of threads.

Jatayu: No thank you buddy, but I appreciate it!
Mashek: I appreciate you for speaking to me!
matty12345: Thank you again Tanneur!
Jatayu: Likewise!
Tanneur99: You're welcome!
matty12345: Allow me to show my compassion!
Tanneur99: Well shown!
Dave_Earl: Does anybody need to borrow some of my cash?
Jatayu: No thank you buddy, but very kind of you!
Tanneur99: Very kind!
Mashek: Very very kind!
Kor: I think you're all kind!
Dave_Earl: I love you all!
Jatayu: LOL get off my leg buddy, I love you too!
matty12345: I think I speak for all of us when I say, you're all kind, I love you all, and-

GoC: What the...
Ax: What's this?!
Julius999: This is the center of the Scenario Design forums, where I live! You'll find this community is very kind, very helpful, and most of all, lots of fun! We design scenarios and write stories! Our community is very accepting of-
Surge: What the creature is trying to say is that this village is full of "people" with a god complex.
Cobra: Well, we need somewhere to sleep, so we'll have to endure this "being nice" crap. Come on guys, let's follow the thing...
Julius999: Surely, right this-
Nav: Shut up.
Julius999: ...

Narrator: And we go back to the ruined Town's Crier, inside of the great tower of New Splash Splash; the mysterious figure, represented by three questionmarks, walks down a long hallway. With Scud busy trying to find more tissues, he finally has privacy! He approaches a door with two muscular guards... guarding it. He nods, and they slowly move, shivering lightly, feeling his powerful presence. As he enters the room, the smell of tyranny fills the air. Orange tyranny. In front of him hangs a prisoner, bolted onto the wall by his surprisingly stylish dictator clothes.

Aro: You bastage!
???: Quiet.
Aro: Sorry.
???: I hope you're enjoying my VIP room. I made it just for you.
Aro: I want my Party back.
???: In due time.
Aro: Due time meaning never, I presume?
???: ... You're very intelligent.
Aro: Intelligence is what my pockets is not full of right now! Let me down!
???: Oh no, not yet. Don't you see? I've waited for so long... to finally destroy Splash Splash! Oh God yes! Oh... bah! Nose leak! Where's Scud when I need him?
Aro: You have a cold?
???: No, just a leakage problem.
Aro: Eeeeew.
???: Yes, well... I can't have Scud realizing I'm not you, now can I?
Aro: Well, that'd kind of ruin your crappy "Aro"-impersonation, now wouldn't it?
???: Correct. Don't expect to be rescued. The best Splash Splashers and a few B-grade characters have been imprisoned, deep below my tower.
Aro: Not the B-grade characters!
???: My mortal enemy, GoC, is still out there. He will be mine soon enough.
Aro: The B-grade characters! Not Mungo! Not Mungo!!!!
???: Quiet!
Aro: Look, if GoC's out there, with the crew, I'm bound to be rescued, right?
???: Haha... you think I would let the Splash Splash crew wander freely? Oh no...
Aro: Oh yes.
???: Oh no.
Aro: Oooooooooh yes.
???: Alright, I let them wander freely. But... they have made some... how do you say... bad choices.
Aro: Really, is this dialogue going anywhere?
???: They're ported in Scenario Design.
Aro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!
???: That super-nice, super-creepy environment will kill them all! Haha!
Aro: Who are you?! Who the hell are you?!?!
???: You want to know? You want to know?!?!?
Aro: YES!!! I MUST KNOW!
???: ARE YOU SURE?!?! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?!?!
Aro: Yep.
???: K. *Pulls off hood.*
Aro: OMG...
???: That's right... say my name.
Aro: Robo-Hitler!
Fearless Leader[FL]: NO YOU MORON! OMFG I HATE YOU! I'm Fearless Leader! The timeless, unstoppable Splash Splash Screenplay villian!
Aro: Oh.
FL: Muahaha! *Puts on hood.* Now, lest they realize I'm not you.
Aro: I'm really indifferent to this.
FL: I never asked for your opinion, slick.
Aro: There was potential with Robo-Hitler. You know... this seemed so like him.
FL: Meh.

Narrator: The mighty Fearless Leader exits the room as Aro mutters to himself. Will the Splash Splash crew survive a night in Scenario Design? With the oldies and B-grade characters cope with being caged like wild wilderbeasts?! Will Scud ever realize Fearless Leader is an imposter??!?! Where the *hell* are the moderators??!?!?!?!?111 Find out in the next Splash Splash Screenplay!


Screenplay Pt. II
By Thunder77

Narrator: When we last left our heroes of the Cow Gone Mad, they had docked in the too-friendly land of Scenario Design.

newIdea: Hey Thundy! How are you today?! =D
Thunder77: *fake smile* Fine, you?!
newIdea: Just working on a map! Got to go! See ya!! =D
Thunder77: Okay bye! *normal face* Holy crap, finally.
*enter CGM Crew*
nav: Yeargh, matey!
Julius999: Here's SD Square, where we all meet and converse everyday.
Morgoth: This town is way too clean.
ax: *litters*
Thunder77: *glances over* CGM!! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!
CGM Crew (unison): Thundy!
Thunder77: Thank God you guys are here! You have to help!
Surge: Why, what's wrong?
Thunder77: I've been trapped here for 8 months! Thats why I haven't been Splashing!
ax: But you made a thread saying you'd leave!
Thunder77: No, I got hacked! They did it!
nav: Yeargh, matey. Quit puttin' exmalation marks at the ends of yer sentences.
Cobra: Why didn't you just leave...?
Thunder77: *deep breath* They wouldn't let me, they said I was "too valuable".
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: What?
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Ok, I lied. They like me 'cuz I smell like pancakes.
ax: Ain't that the truth.
Thunder77: What are you guys doing here anyway?
nav: Yeargh, the TC be gettin' invaded.
Thunder77: WHAT? By who?!
ax: Robo-Hitler.
Surge: Noobs.
Morgoth: Arocrats.
Colo: Your mom!
AK: *punts Colo* AND STAY OUT!
Thunder77: No, really. None of those are possibilities.
Morgoth: I'm sick of you people not appreciating me! I told the truth! *mumbles pouty crap*
Cobra: It's actually Arocrats.
Thunder77: But Morgoth said that. How could it be true?
Morgoth: WTF?!
CGM Crew (unison): Srsly. It's Arocrats.
Thunder77: Ok, ok. What did they want with TC?
Ornlu: I'm tired of reviewing plot information, we've done it already. God.
Thunder77: Whatever. Where are you guys staying?
Surge: Julius999's.
Thunder77: That's a bad idea. He has 1200 pet macaws. They peck your eyes out while you sleep. Rly.
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Rlly!
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Fine, that's a lie too. There's beer at my house...
GoC: I say we go!
CGM Crew: Huzzah!

Narrator: So our our crew departs to Thunder77's house. Meanwhile, in New Splash Splash...

FL: Scud!!
Scud: *panting* Yes, sir?
FL: I need you to watch this holding area. Make sure nobody's up to any...
Scud: Shenanigans?
FL: Fine. Whatever. Be back-
Scud: Soon?
FL: Yes, yes! I need to go blow my n-
Scud: Nose?
FL: Stop finishing my s-
Scud: Sentences?
FL: *glares and points towards Aro's holding chamber*
Scud: Aye aye, sir!
FL: AND DON'T LOOK INSIDE THE CHAMBER.
Scud: Why not sir?
FL: It's uh... not for mortal eyes. Your head will... explode... and stuff... yeah.
Scud: Yes, sir Aro, sir!
*exit FL*
Aro: *looking through hole in the wall* Scud! *bangs on wall*
Scud: *whistles*
Aro: SCUD! IN HERE!
Scud: Lalalala...
Aro: *mumbles* Idiot...
Scud: *turns around* Hm? Was that?
Aro: IN HERE!
Scud: Hm. *looks forward again*
Aro: Sometimes I wonder why I made him a Cherub.

Narrator: Meanwhile, in a tower in the Town's Crier...

SS: Well, what now? Next time Scud comes in here, we're gonna have to take this stuff. We'd better think fast.
Lord_Fadawah [LF]: Pstt, guys. Up here!
TK: *looks through crack in the roof* Hey look, Fadawah's here to save the day!
All: *look up* Hooray!
LF: SHH! Don't let them know I'm here. Here, I brought some sleeping gas. Use it on the guards then escape! *drops it down*
zyx: Ooh, shiney. Me open.
All: Noo!
zyx: *opens* Lalalala.
LF: *covers mouth* zyx, throw it up here! Better me than you!
zyx: R'okay! *tosses up*
LF: I'll be- *cough* back... *passes out*
TK: You really are an idiot, zyx.
zyx: Spank you.

Narrator: Will the CGM save the Town's Crier? Will Aro ever escape to save his people? Will Fadawah ever regain concience? Will zyx stop being stupid?
Tune in next time!


Screenplay Pt. III
By Basse
Narrator: Nwo back to our heroes in Thunder's house;

Basse: Nice place you have.
Morgoth: Where's the beer?
Thunder: I'll go fetch it.
GoC: Fine.
Thunder. Yea.
Morgoth: Good.
Colo: Great.
Thunder: Yea.
GoC: ... Off you go then.
Thunder: err, yea, truth is...
Morgoth: There is no beer isn't there?
Thunder: No.
CGM Crew: *Sigh*
Epic: At least we have papayas!
Basse: we don't.
Epic: Oh.
Thunder: Right. Um, you guys can sleep in the living room, I'll go find some blankets...
Basse: Dibs on the bed!
OWM: In your dreams
Thunder: Hey, no, that's MY... *sigh*
Cobra: Those blankets coming along?
Ornlu: That couch is mine.
Epic: In your dreams!
OWM: Get your own lines kid
Warlord: What's the point of this scene anyway?
Thunder: Don't eat the flowers!
GoC: But I'm hungry
Thunder: Well, have some proper food!
GoC: There is none.
Thunder: No...
GoC: See my problem here?
Morgoth: I DEMAND ATTENTION!
Surge: Quiet n00b.
Thunder: I guess I'll just sleep on the hard floor, in my own house, all alone...
OWM: I'd join you
Thunder: You would?
OWM: Nah.
DaVe: Hi guys.
nav: Where'd you come from?
DaVe: I've been here all the time
Surge: No you haven't
DaVe: Yes I have, I just never said anything.
Ornlu: If you don't say anything in a screenplay, you don't exist
DaVe: Blame it on the writers.
Morgoth: LISTEN TO ME!

Narrator: Right. We'll leave our heroes for the time being and let them sort out their problems and conveniently move a huge distance in the blink of an eye to the stinky Towns Crier.

SS: Must... have... food!
TK: Shut up, we've only been here for an hour.
SS: They're going to starve us to death those socialist arses!
TK: It's not like you're going to be dead after an hour or two in here
SS: Who knows? Eventually, we'll have to start to eat each other in order to survive...
All: ...
Bleedteal: Get me out of here.
Solivago: Calm down, what's the worst that could happend?
CK: That!

Narrator: CK pointed in fear towards a door in the stone wall that swung open, and out of it came... what? What emerged from the deep darkness of Rottingham Palace's secret tunnels? Will Aro de-cherubize Scud? Will Robo-Hitler have an appearance after all? All this and more next time, and next time, and the time after that, and- you get my point.


Screenplay Pt. IV
By Matt
Narrator: Outside the dungeon, the "fearless leader" releases NN.

FL: I am letting you go, run fast, I may change my mind.
NN: I am eternally indebted to the generosity so manifest in your gracious persona. I shall from this day forth-
FL: I said run.
NN: Right *runs*
Scuddles: Master, was that wise?
FL: He will run where?
Scud: To the SSer's of course...
FL: Precisely, Scud. Precisely.
Scud: Another tissue, Master?

Narrator: Matty, a citizen of SD, walks in on the lounging SSer's digesting the news from NN of the imprisoned forummers...

Matty: Sup guys
Nav: ...
Morgoth: ghey noob!

Matty: Look guys, I am not so bad, I post in SS alot, I-I...
Morgoth: Ever been banned?
Matty: No but...
Solivago: Ever been given a moderational email discussing your behavioral tendencies on the internet forum under consideration for the present?
Matty: ...
nav: He means have you ever been warned.
Matty: No uh, well
Quazzi: EVER SPAM LOL!11!!1111!?
Matty: Well there was this one time and...
GoC: He is a SDer
Matty: But Scuddles and I are pals, he can vouch for me!
Group: ...
Matty: What?
GoC: Scuddles is the enemy now, joined the Arocrats.
Matty: That is so sad.
Surge: Shut up
Cobra: Don't you SDer's ever show emotion other than kindness?
Matty: Uh, no. Well there is this one guy, but he doesn't mingle as much with the town...
Group: ?
Surge: an SDer with a mean streak? Not possible...
GoC: We need to meet this fellow.
Matty: Not a good idea, He lives up on a mountain in a hut. Strange noises come from there, he has been building something.
Quaazi: LETS SPAM HIS HOUSE!
Cobra: name?
Matty: His name is Luke Gevearts...

Narrator: The crew with Matty at the lead walk all the way to the top of the mountain, and knock on the door to the hut...

Voice from inside: If you want to know if ATW is finished, come back in 20 years!
Cobra: What is ATW?
Matty: Scenario he is making
Group: ...
GoC: I think it is safe to say he is a SDer. Common gang, back down the mountain.
Voice: And don't come back again you squad of miserable drivel incapable of intellectual thought befitting a monkey.
Group: ...
GoC: We better go in.

Narrator: The crew (and matty) get to know Luke, and discover he is suprisingly cool. After a while he stops berating them and the subject of Aro and Scuddles
and the situation comes up.


GoC: What is worse, there are some SSer's with the B grade characters imprisoned by Aro.
Solivago: The confinement station they have been quartered in is positively unbreachable even to
those of us with such superior lexicons as myself.
Surge: NN means we can't break them out.
Matty: I could...
Quaazi: lolwut?
Matty: through a modification of the DAT file, we can alter the graphic slot and...
Group: Oh no...
Luke: But you will need my help. I have just the thing *dives into workshop*
Basse: You said ATW was a scenario?
Luke: Look do you seriously think I could be designing one scenario for 6 years. Have any of you thought what ATW stands for?
Ornlu: ...Against thee--
Luke: No. Aro Tranquilizing Weapon
Group: Oooohh
Matty: See us SDer's can be useful too!
Cobra: Shut up
Luke: Matty, lets get to work.

Narrator: 3 hours later Matty and Luke and the SS crew were assembled at the town's center with an odd looking machine.

Julius: What does it do?
Luke: it zaps that bastard Aro, unlocks the jail cell and transports the prisoners here.
Tannuer: Clever
Mashek: Cool technology Matt and Luke.
Matty: thnx guys, uh, oh no. *points*
Group: What?
Matty: look
Surge: Is that who I think it is...
Dantares IV: What is this?
Matty: nothing it is just...
Dantares: How did you make that? I smell a rat.
Matty: Well some editing and such went to work here and there, but only to--
Dantares: Oh NOES! A modpack!
Matty: but this isn't even Aok...
Luke: Get over it, tool.
Dantares: He swore at me! And he is a mod! Corruption! *Begins firing off emails to HG Exco*
Surge: But tool isn't a swearword...
Dantares: Now everyone is swearing at me! A conspiracy! You are all worse than Colo!

Narrator: Dantares draws Rocket propelled grenade and blows the Aro Tranquilizing Weapon to ash. He always had a thing for guns, and this was the perfect time to use one from his collection. The gang sat looking at the firy heap. What now? Would anything save the imprisoned SSer's? Was Fearless Leader tracking them at that moment already? Stay tuned...


Screenplay Pt. V
By Aro
Last time in the SS Screenplay, Dantares burned Luke's much-touted "Aro Tranquilizing Weapon" to ash, much to the dismay of the CGM crew.

Seriously... they're pissed.


Luke: Son of a ...
Matty: ...
GoC: *eye twitches*
Morgoth: WAT
KOJ_jkol0: i'm a teacher!
Basse: ...flehflehflehflehfleh....
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!111!! OMFG!!!
Eaglehaslanded(EHL): Oh noe-
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!! WTF OMGGGG!!!!
EHL: Oh n-
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAH OMG! WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!
Dantares: *smokes a cigar and smiles* Yep, that'll do 'er.

Dantares leaves Luke's hut, unsure of how he got there to begin with.

Matty: I'm gonna get this kid. Somebody hold me back.
All: ...
Matty: OK... So am I to understand that nobody's going to hold me back?
Luke: Go ahead.
All: ...
Matty: I'm serious. I'll get him. Real good.
nav: We bet.
Matty: What, you don't think I can?
Luke: Look, here's the deal. If you don't strike him down right now, I will do it for you. And that doesn't make it seem like you're doing your job moderating this joint. Understood?
Matty: Well... I guess.
Luke: Go get him, slugger.
Ornlu: Did somebody say joint?

Narrator: Matty travels down the surprisingly stylish Scenario Design mountain, unsure of how he is going to handle this situation. See, Matty had never used his mod powers before, except closing that one thread that one time when he was asked to close the thread by a close friend who also happened to own the thread in question and simply wanted it closed because his question was answered. But how was he going to handle *this*, his very first ban? What the hell's that Code of Conduct thing he was supposed to read? What if he can't go through with it?

Meanwhile, in the ruins of the Town's Crier, the disguised Fearless Leader makes his way down a dark stone hallway with Scud, their footsteps echoing throughout the tower.


Scud: My Lordship, you should really fix the lighting.
FL: It sets the mood, damn you....
Scud: I know, but the light is so dim, 'Ro. I can barely read anything, and see, this one time, I was trying to read the latest EB patch readme, and I couldn't read it at all, the words were getting all jumbled together, and I was having trouble deciphering exactly what each one of those bastards were saying, so I was all-

Narrator: Slouching slightly, Scud turns completely red and every muscle in his body tenses up, as he proceeds to rip off his shirt.

Scud: MOTHER****ING RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!!1
FL: GOODNESS MAN, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
Scud: Well, **** 'Ro, you don't understand just how frustrating it is to read when there's dim lighting-
FL: Look, shut up. Shut your damn mouth. Listen to my evilesque monologue.
Scud: I don't see where you're going with this.
FL: You never heard it yet!
Scud: I'm listening damn it! *scowls* Go go go go go go right ahead 'Ro, I mean jesus christ, all I try to do is-
FL: The stones are being carefully placed. You see, what's the normal conclusion of these Splash Splash adventures?
Scud: Well, in my literary studies of what makes a truly great and fulfilling story, the good guys win and the bad guys lose.
FL: Exactly. We're being portrayed as the bad guys. But what if we made everyone else think that we're the good guys? Majority rules, amirite?
Scud: I see where you're going with this.
FL: No you don't. You see, if we can gather the mandate from all of Age of Kings Heaven, and HeavenGames as a whole... if I can become the definitive ruler of Age of Kings Heaven, we *can* win! If the Splashers are completely alienated and despised by the whole of HeavenGames, where oh where will they go? They will be forced to leave! And with that scum Ghost of Caesar out of my way, and that smelly captain nav eliminated, and that-
Scud: Ah, if we make them all into Arocrats, Arocrat is Arocrat and we are winz.
FL: ....
Scud:
FL: Alright then.
Scud:
FL: Go away.
Scud: Oh, alright. Bye bye 'Ro.
*Scud leaves.*
FL: God, this is too much. How the hell can I plan with that DAMN Scud following me everywhere? Oh well... I need as many insiders as I can. *pulls out the staff roster list, and slowly moves his finger down through the names* Hmm... not a whole lot to work with here.... Luke, Matty, Tanneur, Mashek, from the SD community. Perhaps I could make a deal with them, so they'll keep the Splashers out of my operations.

Narrator: A mysterious figure enters the room.

????: Hi Aro, you e-mailed me?
FL: Haha, ah yes... GillB, super-mod herself, representing the EXCO and God Himself.
GillB: Yes... that's right....
FL: Gill B, moderator of OD and the only one who could possibly stop a powerful, evil, corrupt leader who's clearly out of control.
GillB: Yeah....
FL: Gill B, the one member of the EXCO HeavenGames looks to in times of need, the most active and world-renou-
GillB: Aro... what exactly do you want?
FL: What any power-driven individual such as myself wants, my dear... YOU TO PERISH!

Narrator: In a cloud of smoke, GillB is teleported into a different dimension, one called "WORLD OF WARCRAFT". She clearly enjoys this new surrounding and it's a nice departure from the normal political climate she's exposed to.

FL: Muahahaha! NOW WITH THE EXCO OUT OF THE WAY, WHO WILL STOP ME?!?! WHO?!?!
Aro: *from down the hall, still captured pinned up against the wall* Meee!
FL: STFU N00B!!1!11

Narrator: In the basement of the New Splash Splash, the Splasher oldies continue to rot.

SS: I'm *so* going to eat you.
Bleedteal: Stay the hell away.
SS: No... I'm hungry.
Bleedteal: Let go of my leg.
SS: NO!!
Bleedteal: Get off damn you, it's only been a few hours, and you ate twenty pounds of raw shrimp on the boat!
SS: FINE BUT I'M LONELY!!!
xyz: We need to get out of here. Fadawah's incapacitated, clearly no fault of my own. But let's ask ourselves... how come NN got a free pass?
CK: No clue... I thought for sure I was pointing to a forumer eating another forumer, but apparently it was to draw attention to NN getting out.
xyz: It's those sort of twists we need to keep motivated and encouraged. Alright, I have an idea. This is a cage, right.
All: *group nod*
xyz: Let's walk through the door.
All: ...
TK: xyz, you innovator you.
xyz: I try.
Monk: Isn't the door locked?
xyz: ... No. Scud didn't lock it before he left.
Monk: Why didn't you tell us that earlier?
xyz: To be completely honest, I wanted to see SS eat Bleedteal.
All: ...
CK: Yeah, us too.

Narrator: Does Matty have the guts to *ban* a forumer? What will the Splashers do in Luke's hut while Matty's away? Who could possibly stop Fearless Leader if the EXCO clearly can't? Can the Splasher oldies escape from the New Splash Splash dungeons?! What the hell is ?!?! FIND OUT IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SPLASH SPLASH SCREENPLAY: THE AROCRACY RULES!!!!11!!!11!

*RANDOM EXPLOSION OMFG, STREAM CREDITS*


Screenplay Pt. VI
By sly_guy

Narrator: When we last saw matty, he was rushing off down the SD mountain, on his way to ban Dantares.

Matty (to himself): ok, just calm down and breathe, you can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS. I’m a moderator, for heaven’s sake; of COURSE I can do this! All I have to do is give a good reason for banning him... *searches through his printout of the Code of Conduct* hmmm... maybe I could use this against him... nah, it’s not good enough... But wait! What’s this? “.. and discourage activities which disrupt our community ...” This is perfect! Dantares is being disruptive with his extremist views on modpacks! Mwahahaha! He’s history!

Narrator: a few moments later, we see matty catch up to Dantares.

Matty: Dantares, we’ve put up with your disruptive behaviour long enough.
Dantares: You can’t ban me, I haven’t done anything wrong! Look at the Code of Conduct!
Matty: Apparently you forgot a little bit of it. See, this part right here.... *points to the section he found earlier* You’ve been disruptive, and we can’t have that in the forums. And furthermore, you’ve been warned to keep your views on mudpacks to yourself, so this is it. You’re banned. *hits Dantares with his banstick*
*Dantares faints*

Narrator: Meanwhile, back at Luke’s hut, the forumers are still trying to come up with ideas.

Luke: Damn, that’s six years’ work down the tube like that. *snaps fingers*
Quaazi: Ack!
All:...
Quaazi: He scared me when he snapped his fingers, 's all.
nav: Right. Sorry ‘bout that Luke. Anyways, anyone have any bright ideas?
Basse: No, nothing’s coming to mind.
Ornlu: me neither.
Luke: I swear, if matty doesn’t have the guts to finish him off... I’ll- *everyone looks at Luke* What? I’ve got a right to be angry. None of you have worked on a project for six years, so you don’t know how it feels.
Thunder: Relax, Luke. And no, I don’t have any ideas either.
(Voice from in the back): Hey, why don’t we try using one of my new programs?
Basse: Jatayu? What’re you doing here? I thought you spent a lot of your time over at Modding Mountain!
Jatayu: Yeah, well, no-one’s ever there, so I’ve moved to SD Mountain. It looks much nicer too, what with all the-
nav: What were you saying about one of your programs?
Jatayu: Well, you know my ModWorkshop utility pack? Uhh, it doesn’t just create .SLPs. It’ll actually move them around in the DRS file.
Thunder:... so? How is that gonna help us?
Jatayu: It can move .SLPs, which are basically pictures.
Quaazi: what does it moving pictures have to do with us?
Luke: Wait, I think I know where you’re going with this, Jatayu. Guys, get ready for a wild ride!
Jatayu: Ummm, I haven’t actually gotten all of the bugs out yet. Mainly because nobody’s given me feedback, but it should work.
Basse: WHAT should work?!? And what’s Luke talking about?
Jatayu: It can move US.
All: ...
Quaazi: You want me to get teleported in that... THING?! No way, I’m out of here!
Luke: You want a warning for being disruptive or not?
Quaazi: No, I guess I’ll come along, then.
Nnav: Right then, who’s first?
Jatayu: Um, it should be able to take you all at once. Seeing as each SLP is made of different bitmaps...
Thunder: Right, whatever. We’ll all go, except you Jatayu, since you need to stay behind and enter in the commands.
Jatayu: *nods & pales slightly* Right. In you go guys. Oh, where do you need to go? I need to specify an output directory.
Luke: Just leave it blank for now. Anywhere would be closer than here.
Jatayu: Are... are you sure you want to do that? *Luke nods* Ok, then.

Narrator: And... they’re off! The CGM crew is sent hurtling through the time-space continuum of HG. Where will they end up? Will Matt ever be able to catch up with them? Will we see more of the Fearless Leader, and who is going to try and stop him? And finally, are the old Splashers willing to follow xyz’s cunning escape plan? Find out in the next installment!


Screenplay Pt. VII
By Thunder77

Narrator: When we last left our heroes of the CGM, they were hurdling through time and space to a random location throughout HG.

Surge: Whoaoaoaoa!
Morgoth: Wheeeppp!
Thunder: Aaaaaah!!
nav: Yeearrrrghhh!

Narrator: Meanwhile, in a tower in the ruins of the TC, we find our oldies waltzing out the front door of their cage like a bunch of bamfs.

SS: Wtf!
CK: Lol!
zyx: Rofl!
Monk: Omg!
Scud: Hey... how'd you guys get out...?
Bleedteal: You didn't lock the door...
Scud: lolwhat? Not like it matters anyway, I'll just get out my bansword...
Oldies: *laughter*
Scud: Oh yeah? Laugh at me, will ya? *swings bansword at Monk*
Monk: *dodge*
Scud: Uhrm. *swings again*
Monk: *dodge*
Scud. WTF. Why can't I ban you?!
CK: Are you kidding? He's scheming_monk. He's been dodging banswords since half a decade before you even registered.
Scud: *grumbles* I command you forumers to surrender!
Oldies: ...
Scud: ...
SS: Or... what?
Scud: ...ehrm...
Oldies: *throw Scud into the cage*
zyx: r0fl!!!11!!1
Scud: You'll never get away with this! The Arocrats shall prevail!

Narrator: Somewhere between demetions...

Thunder: Whaaaa!
Ornlu: Eeeeeee!
Cobra: Aaaaaack!
Luke: ...Srsly now, we've been screaming for like 10 minutes. We got here about nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds ago.
Morgoth: *opens eyes* Whoa, where are we?!

Narrator: The CGM crew plus a few SDers open their eyes to discover something quite incredible... but what? And what will happen to HeavenGames now that GillB has been eliminated? What vengeance will the oldies plot on the Arocrats? Tune in next time!


Screenplay Pt. VIII
by Basse.

Basse: This looks eerily familiar...
Warlord: Where the world..?
Jatayu: It seems my program worked. We're here.
Surge: Here where?
Morgoth: Where here?
Ornlu: Here?
Warlord: I'm over here.
Morgoth: Who's there?
Jatayu: Me, Jatayu. I can see you through my equipment here, but you can't see me. Now shut up. This is the Blacksmith. You've made it folks.
Surge: And how are we supposed to find help here, huh? This place is like a wasteland, just all these rows of dusty files and folders.
Jatayu: Exactly.
Luke: I think I know what you're thinking
Jatayu: Possibly
Luke: Quite likely
Jatayu: Maybe. *Luke stares mysteriousy at an empty space in the air - supposedly where Jatayu's voice comes from - for no apparent reason*
Basse: Hey *snaps fingers*
Morgoth: Let me handle this.
Basse: No, Quaz, just don-
Morgoth: Do you know why I hate modpacks so much? *Luke - and Jatayu back at the SD mountain - turn towards him with murdering looks*
Jatayu: What did you say!?
Morgoth: See? Works every time.
Basse: *Sigh* Now, how the world is the Blacksmith supposed to help us?
Luke: Right. See all these files here?
Basse: Yes..?
Luke: They are all campaigns and scenarios right? Stories with characters, some good and some evil, some weak some strong. If we let the good guys out, they could help us defeat the Arocrats.
Epic: Clever.
Surge: It is... actually.
Ornlu: So you mean we get to see campaign characters for real?
Jatayu: Yes.
Ornlu: Ooh, let out Joan of Arc
Cobra: I have a better idea. Give him Sabato
Ornlu: I imagine she's quite hot too..
Cobra: Perhaps, but she'd kill you before you even could start thinking of-
Jatayu: Enough! We need someone that can actually fight for us, someone strong and famous, that will strike fear into the arocrats and boost the morale of our forces.
Thunder77: Ulio?
Luke: He's emotionally unbalanced.
Warlord: The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Basse: They'd kill everyone, including us. That's their hobby after all
Thunder77: Is there anyone famous enough that doesn't have a weak or dakr side?
Basse: Dantares?
Luke: Oh please, that n00b's not even a campaign character, he's just an annoying yank tha-
Basse: Dantares as in Lord Dantares, from the Sabato story?
Luke: ... that... could work actually. Except he dies in Sabato Returns.
Thunder77: He was alive in the original, and he was a less developed character and fewer weaknesses
Jatayu: Well go find him.
Surge: How do we make sure we don't let Sabato out at the same time?
Jatayu: She's hiding on her island most of the game, it should be safe to take Dantares out without her joining in. Unless...
CGM Crew: Unless what!?
Jatayu: Unless we have to keep the portal open until Dantares is ready to return to the file again.
Surge: That would be conveniently clichť for this story wouldn't it?
Luke: #§+&@ writers...
Basse: Do we have any choice?
Jatayu: Not really.
Basse: Then go for it.
Cobra: Go ahead.
Morgoth: I think-
Surge: Nobody cares about what you think! just go ahead and open the crap!
Morgoth: You are being very rude Mr. I-spam-when-I'm-*Hickup*-drunk...
Luke: If you don't keep quiet I'll personally make sure you'll get an Arocrat wallposter up your-
Jatayu: RIGHT, here it goes. *Jatayu opens the file with his special program and a nice shiny light flashes and creates a flat sphere in front of the CGM Crew, from which screams or war and the sound of war drums can be heard.
Jatayu: Here we go... *selects Dantares in the program* .... and extract. He should arrive quite s-

POOOF

Narrator: Was it Dantares that came out of the portal? Will he be able to help the crew? Will Sabato emerge and kill everyone? What happens to all the others? Will Matty suffer from psychological trauma after banning Dantares? You'll find that out... LATER!


Screenplay Pt. IX
by NeverFinished.

Last time, on The Arocracy Rules, the Splash Splashers were on the verge of opening up the Dantares file when there was a loud, or maybe soft, POOF! Lord Dantares appears momentarily then vanishes...

Cobra: By god that's a lot of smoke!
Morgoth: I've coughed up my lungs!
Basse: I just saw Lord Dantares...he's gone now though.
Luke: *Waving the smoke out of the way* It must be a corrupted file...all the special effects from the Renaissance add-on must have screwed it up.
Oliver: *appears* Naaaa....it was--
Surge: I am sick of characters popping up without any good reason! Get the **** out unless you walk in from somewhere with a purpose other than making a funny comment based on something we just said! It was funny though..
Basse: How will we ever get Lord Dantares to aid us now?
Morgoth: HACKZORZzz!!!
Cobra: ...by god! He's right...and I hope what I just said never becomes available on record, but if we can manage to locate the computer that this scenario came from originally, we can hack into it and retrieve Lord Dantares from there!
Thunder: But wouldn't that be a large waste of time? We could just find someone else...
Luke: Well, lets take a look for anything useful in this scenario while its open..
Morgoth: Perhaps the corrupted data has created some sort of superhuman---
All: Shut up Morgoth!
Morgoth: Shut up Morgoth!!
Surge: Wait...why did you say shut up, Morgoth?
Morgoth: I wanted to join in the fun...
Cobra: Whoa! Morgoth has coughed up his lungs!
Long silence...
Morgoth: *Gasps*
Corrupted Villager(CV): *Appearing out of the fog* Aha! A lung! Just what I need, I was created with only one for some reason...

Narrator: As the Splash Splashers get to know this corrupted villager, we'll go over to the jail cell where the oldies are standing around doing nothing in particular

zyx: This is fun!
SS: Shouldn't we help Fadawah now that we've escaped...
Scud: I'm your friend guys! Let me out!
CK: You're not fooling anyone Scud...we all know you're a traitor...
zyx: Come on out and have your part in the conversation Scuddles! *Opens cell door*
CK: *slaps forhead, then zyx*
Scud: *running away* You must join eventually, it is the best optioooooooooooooonnnnnnnn~
Bleedteal: So I guess that part of the building got blown off....
SS: How the hell did no one notice that?!?
CK: Because its made of soft blankets....
SS: Well then...wouldn't that mean that Scud landed in a pile of blankets?
zyx: *Jumps off building* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Bleedteal: Scud's escaping with zyx!
All: Who cares?
Bleedteal: ...ok...Scud's escaping!!!
Oldies: RARGH!!!

Narrator: While the oldies jumped down into lovely piles of downy blankets, (and forgot about Lord Fadawah) Matty was talking with Jatayu on SD mountain.

Jatayu: ..and you whacked him with the might of a thousand rhinoceroses...
Matty: Hey! I like to say that part of the story!
Jatayu: I'm sick of talking about how you banned Dantares with your ban stick
Matty: *hopeful* Its a sharp stick...
Jatayu: I don't care...
Matty: Well then...I'll have to ban you!
Jatayu: Why the hell would you do th---
BANNED!
Matty: MUHAHAHA!!!! That was quite exhilarating!

Just then FL appeared in the doorway

FL: You are strong with the ban stick young Matty...
Matty: *sparkling eyes* Really?
FL: You will be granted a ban sword if you are wise enough to join me, Aro, in the glorious Arocracy I have created!
Matty: I'm so touched...

Narrator: Meanwhile, the real Aro was still imprisoned and had begun a dramatic monologue

Aro: What?
Narrator: Do it!
Aro: I don't have a monologue!
Narrator: You were supposed to be ready for it by tuesday!
Aro: Guards! Guards! The fourth wall has been broken! Come and fix it. Please! Oh please! The story will collapse with it opened up like this! There is not much time, you must believe me! Please...*whimpers* please...GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to do it myself...

In an extreme display of superhuman strength, Aro breaks through the cuffs attaching him to the wall, and proceeds to fix the fourth wall with some masking tape and notepad paper.

Aro: YES!! I'm free!! Now I will expose Fearless Leader's true indentity and bring him down once and for all! The Arocracy will be back in my hands soon, and all will be well! But for now, I must locate that evil person and eliminate them.. *Draws ban sword epically*
Guard 1: OI! Get back in your cuffs
Aro: Never!
Guard 2: Tsk tsk...
Guards: *Put Aro back in cuffs*
Aro: *realizing* I just did a monologue ....Owwwww ...paradox...

Will Morgoth survive with only one lung? Will the SS crew attempt to find the computer with Lord Dantares in it? Will Matty's lust for power, and his wanting to belong get the better of him? And how will the oldies manage to catch Scud? Find out next time on, The Arocracy Rules.




Screenplay Pt. X
by Luke Gevaerts

Narrator: Something happened in the previous installment, but since the current writer is drunk, tired, and still pissed with Thunder for his atrocious abuse of the English language in yours truly's name, we're going to ignore all that.

Corrupted Villager: A lung! I only need one of them, though. Here, Morgoth, have one on the house.
Morgoth: Thanks, dad.
All: Dad?!
Morgoth: OMG! Dad!
All: ...
Surge: Forget about him. You! Who the hell are you, and why the hell are you corrupted?
Corrupted Villager: Hell if I know. Ask him.

*Fourth wall shatters. Again*

Cobra: Well I'll be... The exit to another dimension!
Luke: Another one? Please, cut this shit out. Being this close to what may or may not be a past, present or future incarnation of the upgraded version of my worst nightmare is bad enough as it is.
Thunder: Hey, I thought you were friends with Aro?
Luke: Aro? I was talking about Danta--
Morgoth: Aro is my bitch!

*ACME-like cloud surrounds Morgoth as he's beaten to near-death by fellow oldies*

Corrupted Villager: Are you guys always this friendly?
Thunder: Yeah, guys, cut it out. We're fighting the Arocracy here, remember?
Luke: Six years of work, ruined. My modest hovel, ruined. My life, near ruined. I wonder if that banstick still works here...

--Corrupted Villager was brutally maimed by iron banstick of certain doom--

Luke: Seems like it does.
Cobra: That was, messy, man.
Surge: Not messy enough to my taste.
Basse: Might I suggest we escape through this rift in... Well, whatever, while it's still open?

Narrator: Oblivious to recent events, the SS oldies stumble through another rift in dimension and time. Nobody knows where they will end up this time, or even how these damn portals came to exist to begin with. So be it - at least NeverFinished will be included in the next update.


Screenplay Pt. XI
By Basse

Narrator: Back to where we left Scud and the oldies, Scud and zyx are currently falling off the roof of what apparently was a very high building made out of soft cushions.

Scud: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!
zyx: Hehe, wind me likey!

Narrator: After a fall that seems to keep going for minutes, they crash into something soft. Zyx, who has more bodymass than Scud since he's a caveman, bounces up all the way to the top, but Scud manages to land - or crash - onto the ground.

???: Oi, watch my stomach ruffians!
Scud: Aw my back... I think it's broken...
???: Hey, Scuddles is that you?
Scud: Who the..? You?
???: It's me alright
Scud: Bryce! I haven't seen you for ages! What happened?
Fattybryce: I fell off this roof a few months ago and I haven't had the willpower to get up.
Scud: ... Right. How did you fall down?
Bryce: This Robo-Hitler sort of a guy pushed me down. He said that I was too clumsy to fit into his plan of a new HG order and then he pushed me down the edge. Got part of the roof with me though, he almost fell down himself.
Scud: But... Robo-Hitler? I haven't seen Robo-Hitler in the castle and I've been there for six months straight. You sure it was him?
Bryce: I remember all the people I hate.
Scud: Right. We would be better of making up a plan off sorts to find that Robo-Hitler before he gets his evil plans into motion. I should report this to Aro as soon as possible, he will need to hear about this, I don't think he'd be too pleased to have a rebel trying to ruin things for him, and although he is quite used to handling uprises from various n00bs and such, I don't think it'd be a good idea to leave him to discover it by himself, and if I do report this in the chances are higher I'll be promoted to an angel one fine day and...

Narrator: Meanwhile on the roof:

zyx: Weee! *lands on Monk*
Bleedteal: What happened?
zyx: Me fall and Weee! and then Boing and Wee! and me... land of Monkey
Monk: Stop calling me Monkey!
CK: Well you ARE furious
Monk: AM NOT!
TK: Calm down Monkey, no big deal. Now how the world are we going to catch Scuddles?
zyx: Weee!
Bleedteal: No, we'll just get ourselves killed in the jump.
SS: Let's go find Aro and talk some sense into him
Monk: Talk as in beat up?
SS. Naturally.
zyx: Me likey!
Bleedteal: No. We'll talk to him. Verbal communication. There must be some big thing behind all this, the Aro we knew would never destroy the Crier, he's like it's father or something.
TK: The Aro we knew hadn't been in charge for this long, he hadn't been exposed to power radiation all that long. But his personality disorder combined with the power, I don't seen why he couldn't be killing his babies.
SS: But if he doesn't change, then can we beat him up?
Bleedteal: *Sigh* Sure, just make sure you don't get banned in the process.
SS: Yay!
zyx: Zug zug!
TK: Come on, let's go.

Narrator: Down the tower we go again...

Scud: ... and I was like MOTHER****ING RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!!1, and he just screamed at me, and I don't see why anyone would do that, after all I only explained to him my inner feeling tha-
Bryce: Right, shut up. Know what? I don't think that guy you're speaking of is Aro.
Scud: What do you mean? of course he's Aro
Bryce: Why so sure?
Scud: ... well, he said he was...
Bryce: Pfft. You go on in there again and you find the real Aro, wherever he is. I'd bet a pie that the guy who calls himself is that Robo-Hitler thing.
Scud: Ain't you coming?
Bryce: If I would, I'd have to get up
Scud: And?
Bryce: Do I look like I'm in a good condition?
Scud: Not.. really, no, but for the motherland?
Bryce: I'd do it for pie, but I don't assume you have any.
Scud: Of course I have, I'm staff you know!
Bryce: So what?
*Scud conveniently makes a pie out of air with a snap with his banstick and shows it to Bryce*
Bryce: Holy balloney, I am SO going to apply for a staff position! Alrightye, count me in. Let's go.

Narrator: They enter the tower again through one of the gates. Scud easily gets past the guard, who knows he's Fearless Leader's puppet and personal sneezomatic. The lift would only carry 600 kg so they took the stairs, which took hours to climb. Finally up at the top level where Scud's part of this story started, they look around. No Aro-fake is to be seen.

Aro: *Sees flashes of new colours through the keyhole* Is that? Hey, Scud, over here!
Bryce: Did you hear that?
Scud: That? Oh, that's just some random ghost Aro told me to ignore.
Bryce: ...
Scud: Oh crap...
Bryce: *breaks up door with stomach* Look who we've got here.
Aro: Scud you moron, I've been in here screaming for hours! Don't you think you could've at least listened to me ONCE!?
Scud: I'm sorry, I just followed your... er, Robo-Hitler's orders. I thought he was you
Aro: You're such a gullible fool Scud. Now get me out of these cuffs.

Narrator: Is this the first actual action scene approaching? Will Robo-Hitler/Fearless Leader be defeated? Will Aro decherubize Scud? And what the world is happening to the CGM Crew? Are they crossing dimensions to pop up at the other side, outside the entire story, as readers of their own destiny? You'll find out! Maybe.


Screenplay Pt. XII
By Aro

Narrator: On top of SD mountain, FL is speaking with Matty.

Matty: So, besides this "bansword", what do I get if I join you, Aro?
FL: Hrm... unlimited power! Aha! You can be my right-hand stooge, instead of Scud!
Matty: What could I do with unlimited power on an internet fansite?
FL: ... God, what a fr00b. RULE THE UNIVERSE, DOLT! You see, the Arocracy I plan on building; there will no longer be a HeavenGames. Rather... there will be an Arocratic empire!
Matty: Sure, OK... but what do *I* get?
FL: *sigh* This is pointless.

*with a quick swing of his sword, FL sends Matty to banland*

FL: Grrr, none of this is working out! The foolish staff members aren't going to progress my goals. The damn Splash Splash crew still hasn't cracked. I'm going to be lynched by the FMT for banning a staff member. This is all utter nonsense. I'm TIRED OF LOSING! I'm going right to the source of HeavenGames this time! Splash Splash *will* be stopped!

Narrator: In a dark room lit only by lamps, with papers laying everywhere, business documents going through the shredder, with that hideous HeavenGames logo as the wallpaper; this place is also known as "The EXCO Lounge". FL, the evil villain disguised as Aro, is speaking with Socvazius in a language he can understand.

FL: Clearly HeavenGames can't continue hosting fan sites. I mean, come on, "dude", they "isn't cash", word up.
Soccy: You have a good point man. Fansites do seem old hat. And they're losing money that could be otherwise spent on wild around-the-world trips and new haircuts.
FL: Yeah "bro", totally old and "non-pimped-out hat", "dawg". I mean, "liek srsly", if I was in charge, things would be different. HeavenGames would be the most active, profitable network on the internet. In fact... it would be the most powerful network in the world!!!
Soccy: Well man, no offense, I have ideas of my own that I'd like to try out first.
FL: Ah-ah, Soccy... unfortunately, OFFENSE IS TAKEN!

*All of the sudden, the other members of the EXCO appear in the room.*

Soccy: *startled* Eh, hey guys! I was just talking to Aro here-
FL: NOW GUYS!!!
Jayhawk: I'm sorry about this Soccy...
Soccy: Whaza?

*Zen comes up from behind Soccy and stuffs him in a bag. Soccy delivers his trademark smile as he struggles violently. Jayhawk and Zen proceed to beat the bag to a bloody pulp with a bat.*

Jayhawk: God, I've been waiting to get that out of my system for so long. *kicks the bag*
Zen: OK... now, where shall we send the bag?
Both: Harvard.
FL: You both performed excellently. Now... are you both in agreement with "ol' Aro" becoming the NEW CEO OF HEAVENGAMES LLC?!?!?

*THUNDER BOOMS IN THE BACKGROUND, random kittens explode in the proximity as bats fly out the window of the EXCO Lounge and local banshees scream bloody murder while-*

Jayhawk: Sure. I don't want it.
Zen: Yeah, why not?
FL: Good, good... MUAHAHAHaHahahaaHAHAHAHA ARRRGH AAAAHAHAHAHA AAAAAA FRICK, OW... damn it. OW!
All: ....
FL: Get the hell out.
Zen: K. Here, lemme give you super-admin powers first....

Narrator: FL feels an incredible surge of power gather throughout his body, his muscles expanding, veins pulsating. Orange and red flashes spark up around him has he rises off the ground slowly. All of the sudden, he can see everything, hear everything so long as it doesn't involve staff concerns. All of the sudden, he sees Bryce and Scuddles, helping Aro escape. He instantly teleports to that location. With a smirk, he walks toward them, Aro still in cuffs.

FL: Not so fast fools.
Scud: *turns around* You! You tricked me!
FL: Piece of cake. Now, prepare yourselves to die, mortals!
Scud: Why did you trick me?
FL: BECAUSE IT'S SO EASY TO DO!
Aro: Hey... "woman". I might be incapacitated, but that doesn't mean I can't kick your rear end through other means. Like DROP KICK ACTION!!!

*Aro flies over to kick FL, but he dodges the dictator with ease, grabs Aro by the ankle, and throws him through the wall.*

Aro: OW!!!
FL: Oh Scuddles. You just *had* to keep talking, didn't you? You were so valuable....
Scud: You might have beaten Aro, a forum administrator, but you underestimate the power of-

*FL punches Scud in the face, knocking him out.*

FL: MUAHAHaHA NOW IT'S YOUR TURN FATTY!
Bryce: Hey, man, I was just following Scu-

*FL attempts to lift Bryce with his psychic powers, and after *MUCH* struggle, manages to pick him up and drop him down onto Scud.*

FL: *breathing heavily* Finally... NOW.... SPLASH SPLASH, YOU'RE MIIINE!

Narrator: Using his CEO powers to look through the network, he finds the Cow Gone Mad, parked on the shores of SD. Gwame and NeverFinished are playing a game of cards, having stayed behind to protect the boat. He appears behind them, and calmly puts his hand on Gwame's shoulder. He smirks.

FL: Are you boys enjoying your game?
Gwame: Yep.
All: ...
FL: *ahem* So how would you like to DIE at FEARLESS LEADER'S HANDS?!
NF: Quick and painlessly would be ideal.
All: ...
FL: This is no fun at all. Hrm... why don't I make a show of this?

Narrator: All of the sudden, the Cow Gone Mad is far above the Town's Crier; the oldies and Splash crew find themselves teleported, one by one, to the same location.

Jatayu: Morgoth, you bastar- woah.
Morgoth: WHY????
nav: What's going on?
GoC: Our ship!

*The boat rocks back and forth on the horizon as the crew stands in awe; GoC looks up in shock, until he notices the large figure standing in from of him.*

FL: My friend... your time has come.
xyz: Keep back GoC.
GoC: Aro... why are you doing this to us?!
FL: Splash Splash has existed for long enough, Ghostboy. And so have you!

*FL grabs GoC by the throat, and launches him at the CowGoneMad. zyxomma runs toward FL, only to be thrown up towards the ship behind GoC.*

nav: Uh... holy crap.
Luke: *rolls up sleeves and pulls out his banstick* Looks like we're going to have to get our hands dirty, boys.
FL: *smirks and pulls down his hood* You see now...
nav: Fearless Leader!
FL: You can't win this time.
nav: SOMEBODY SAVE MY GODDAMN SHIP!
FL: What ship?

*FL launches his bansword at the CowGoneMad, with both zyx and GoC on board. A giant void opens, and the CGM is sucked into banland.*

nav: Nooooo!
Luke: Eh... holy ****. Who the hell is this clown?
bleedteal: Shall we live to fight another day, anyone?
CK: Yeah, I'm feeling very runny-awayee all of the sudden.
Morgoth: *pisses self* Awww....
Cobra: Stand strong, crew!
FL: There is no point in fighting it my friends.

*Using his super admin powers, FL causes AoKH to fade around them.*

FL: Your Splash Splash is gone.... Your Heaven is gone.... Your ship is gone... and your leaders are gone.... And now... you're gone.

Narrator: The world fades into a dark shade of blue, the crew fading into the darkness along with the site they loved. TO BE CONTINUED....


Screenplay Pt. XIII -- An Old Beginning
By Aro

Narrator: Two years ago, the day of reckoning came and went. The sun burns these scarred lands now, as the bodies of inactive forumers lay on the ground, littered across around a dusty tower. This was once the new Splash Splash. This was once the new Town's Crier, currently a shadow of it's former self. Ages had passed since the menace took over this once-beautiful community, and these were the results; the Splashers attempted to fight back, and they failed. Miserably. After years of adventure and teamwork, they were brought down by the very body they served so loyally, HeavenGames. Now they were torn apart, seperated, unable to commune due to the new monstrosity that overtook the forums. A man walks through the rubble of the Crier, lightly kicking a broken GIF image across the floor. He looks down at it sadly; this wasn't the place he remembered. This was barely a forum anymore. But who would have known that, while took a break from the site two years ago, this place would look so awful two years later? From out in the distance, he sees a shadowy figure sprinting around the fields, scrambing to climb up a large hill. The visitor, sly_guy, waves as the person makes a turn, going in his direction.

sly: Hey, who goes there?
???: Holy crap, somebody's actually here?! I didn't think anybody *liked* cooking!
sly: Uh, sure... are you an AoKH'er?
???: LOL AoKH? No no... a survivor though, holmes. The real and only kind. Word up.
sly: This place isn't Age of Kings Heaven?
???: No dude... there is no AoKH anymore. There is no HeavenGames anymore. Fansites are dead, bro. These days, there are just "communities". 4chan copycats. This is the Cookery sub-forum of Outside Discussions. Age of Cookery, hoohoo!
sly: Outside Discussions... that was a part of HG Main, right?
???: Look, newb, apparently you haven't been here for ages. There is no Aych Jee. This is 4OD, sponsored by his Arocratic Highness. *spits*
sly: What?! What happened to Splash Splash?
???: You sound like an oldie. I appreciate that! BUT I DON'T APPRECIATE POINTING!!! *points at the tower* That's Splash Splash. The old, fake Splash Splash, anyway... once this was made a sub-forum of Outside Discussions, there wasn't really much of a need for it, eh?
sly: OK... is there any place I can find the old Splash crew?
???: Any Splasher that remains is probably in the main Outside Discussions forum, being stupid. You can find it that way. *points to the west*
sly: Alright, thanks.
???: Hey kid... *puts hand on sly's shoulder*
sly: What's up?
???: Be careful.
sly: *smiles* Thanks, will do.
???: *squeezes his shoulder lightly* Hmmmm hey kid...
sly: Yeah?
???: You have an amazing build...
sly: OK...
???: Hay kiddo... flex a little for your dadday.
sly: Uhhhhhhhh-
???: Hey BUDDAY... nice bawdy?!
sly: Alright, I best get-
???: I WANTS UR HAWT BAWDY, KNAVE!
sly: Get off of me!

Narrator: The character tackles sly to the ground. Sly struggles, but suddenly he stops, as he finds himself looking into the eyes of a very familiar face.

sly: ARO?!?!
Aro: Hells yeah, mista mayor!
sly: UHHHH-
Aro: I said I'd be the last one left in these forums, did I not? Huh?! DIDN'T EYE, SLY GUY?
sly: I don't think I was around for that. What the hell have you done to the forums?
Aro: Oh no, not me... I'm not a Seraph anymore. Well... the *rank* Seraph doesn't exist anymore. But you get the idea.
sly: Why the hell is everyone an Arocrat then?
Aro: Use the term Arocrat loosely, foo'. My old party was created specifically to keep AoKH up and running, to keep all other political ideals out of AoKH! You see, one doesn't need to be a Republican, Labor Party, or Communistic Communist in an Arocracy! Because they're forbidden, frowned upon, and even MURDERED. CENSORSHIP HAHAHA!!! THE RIGHT TO DIE! But that doesn't exist anymore... these days, the "Arocracy" is Fearless Leader's method of maintaining control over our dear, dear, dead sexy Heaven. He pretended he was Aro the Great, scored some sehx points with the EXCO, and he got to become the new CEO because nobody else wanted it. So FL did what all businessmen do -- archived great Heavens, alienated the staff members and communities, and centered all of HG around OD. You know... basically picking up where they had left off. *picks up a handful of sand and licks* Mmmmm SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS....
sly: What happened? Didn't you guys fight this Fearless Leader?
Aro: We tried, dude, we tried. But then, all at once, everything fell apart, at the worst possible time. ALAS, THE FORUMERS COULD NOT STOP HE!!! HE WAS-
sly: You don't have to yel-
Aro: HE WAS TOO STRONG MAN! HE HAD THE EXCO ON HIS SIDE MAN! But yeah... lose hope and cherish these scarred lands with me, dude. Like a winner!
sly: What happened to the old crew?
Aro: I TOLD YOU, those that didn't leave and weren't banned assimilated into OD. They're a part of... that.
sly: Why didn't you go?
Aro: I don't fit into that slimetrap, EW!
sly: So.. you didn't leave.
Aro: NO, IGNORANT!! Anyway, soldier, it's been really nice seeing you, but I got things to do here. You know... THINGS.
sly: OK, well uh... I'm going to find some of the older splashers.... Why don't you come with me?
Aro: Why indeed... Y Y WHAI Y... well, I'll tell you what there, buckwheat. If you give me a mission, we can go on it, OK? I never did find out what happened to the crew after Robo-Hitler had the EXCO archive AoKH. And I'd really LOVE 2 FAHND OUT there.
sly: Robo-Hitler?
Aro: Errrr Fearless Leader.
sly: ....
Aro: Typo.
sly: Alright... let's go then!
Aro: OK FINE GAWD. =(
sly: ....
Aro: GO GO GO GO GO-

Sly and Aro trecked into the vast, seemingly endless wasteland, a dark sun fraying what was left of the once-beautiful Age of Kings fauna, Aro fraying what was left of sly's tired brain. 'Is this the Aro I remember?', Sly thought to himself as he marched, the red sand burning through his red platform sneakers. 'It's not even the AoKH I remember... things have really changed.' A large link could be seen in the distance, one that vaguely read "Outside Discussions", but the sheets of sand flying through the air made it difficult to see *anything* clearly. Whoever redesigned the forums clearly had no skills whatsoever. A swooping sound was heard in the distance, but sly paid no mind; yet Aro, ever familiar with his territory, darted his eyes left and right as he preached his gibberish to sly. His eyes widened, but he continued speaking, starting to wave his arms as he spoke. Something was up... but they were so close to the link. What could possibl- OMFG, all of the sudden Aro's tackled to the ground by some sort of strange creature!

Aro: AAAAAUGH DAMN YOU HEATHEN!
???: NOM NOM I WANTS PRECIOUS!!
Aro: YOU CAN'TS HAS ITS MEIN!!!
???: NO I WANTS GIMME-

Aro punches the creature in the jaw, and it falls to the floor, only to scramble back up; hunched over, a look of hunger and starvation in it's eyes. Sly eyed the character suspiciously, trying to see if he could recognize it; the creature's eyes stayed on Aro, watching his every move.

sly: What is it?
Aro: Nah, nobody.... It's probably somebody who CAN'T HAVE IT.
???: GIMME damn American!
Aro: DAMN SWEDE!!!
sly: Ah, Oliver!
All: ...
???: I'M NOT A SWEDE DAMN YOU. I'm ESTONIAN!1
sly: Oh... *sigh* it's Morgoth.
Morgoth: AND I WANTS IT ARO.
Aro: NO!!!!!
sly: What does he want?!
Aro: MY VIRGINITY!!!1
All: ...
Morgoth: Uh... no.
Aro: Oh... yeah, what *do* you want?
Morgoth: I'm not really sure.
Aro: MABBE U WANTS JUST TO WRASTLE!!!1
Morgoth: MEYBBE NAWT!
Aro: MAYBEE U DO!!!
sly: Look... we need to get to OD.
Morgoth: *smiles widely* I love OD. Take me with you.
Aro: Yes, let's take him, so we can LEAVE HIM THERE-
Morgoth: HEY, YOU!!! HEY YOU, SHUTTUP.
Aro: NOOOOOOO-
Morgoth: STFUSTFUSTFUSTUFFSTFU-

Narrator: sly wasn't sure what to make of this. Obviously the Splashers were always crazy, but Morgoth didn't make it any easier to understand Aro's inane babbling... he wasn't even sure how useful Aro would be in this adventure. Pfft, "adventure"... that's the wrong word for it I guess. Whatever sly was even trying to do... perhaps he had some hope of meeting with the Splash Splash group again, so they could relive old times. Or maybe he was trying for something more. As they slowly approached the gaint Outside Discussions link, they saw a giant description underneath: "In this forum, you OBEY THE PRECUSSION LINES LOL J/K GO CRAZY LOSERS." Damn it... what had sly gotten himself into? What he was even doing here? Why did he come back to Age of Kings Heaven?

Aro: Because you LOVE US.
sly: What?
Morgoth: Nevermind him. He's just being a n00b. ARO IS A n00b.
Aro: DEAR MORGOTH BURN IN HELL AND DIE.
sly: Alright, look... we're at the giant OD link. What do we do to go to OD?
Aro: Well... pray.
Morgoth: You pray.
sly: Huh?
Aro: Or click on the link.
Morgoth: You can just touch the link.
Aro: I said click.
Morgoth: OMFG DIE!!!
sly: Why are you two enemies?
Aro: We're not. Just abusive and very trying of eachother's patience.
Morgoth: I'm the only guy who visits the Cookery.
Aro: He's the only guy who vi-
Morgoth: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Aro: NO YOU!

Narrator: They all touched the giant OD link, and instantly they were teleported into a deep blue warzone. Dark, oddly-shaped clouds streamed across the sky, lightning flashing overhead, yet not even the booming thunder could drown out the deafening roar that surrounded them. They could not recognize any familiar faces in the overwhelmingly huge mob that they had been teleported into. Flamethrowers igniting entire threads into burning wrecks, bar brawls, stand-up comedy clubs that were clearly not funny; even the moderators were drunk off their arse, fighting with the rest. Out of the group, using his talent to differentiate object groupings, sly spotted one forumer that seemed slightly different from the rest... he was the only one that looked clearly drunk, but was not brawling; instead, he was reading a newpaper. Sly approached him, Aro and Morgoth close behind; a little *too close* behind, but this was not unusual for sly.

sly: Hi... you from AoKH?
???: I... *hic* I'm from nowhere. Nowhere in particular. Now leave me alone.
Aro: Hey, I recognize this knuckle-head!
Morgoth: I might recognize him too if you give me a chance. NOBODY GIVES ME A CHANCE.
Aro: This is Luke Gevaerts!
Morgoth: WAAAAAH!!!
sly: Woah... Luke! I figured if we had found you, you'd be in with the rest of 'em.
Luke: Naw mate... I... I'm straight. *takes a drink* I'm... not attracted to other males, like the rest of these fairies.
Morgoth: What are you drinking, my Lord? Can I have a drink?!
Luke: You can have one... Coors Lite.... Only if you quit shouting, champ. OD is like a constant hangover as it is, see.
Morgoth: Yeah yeah yeah I know, I've been here before, jerk. Nobody ever considers my feelings.
Aro: Coors Lite? Isn't that an awfully feminine drink for Mr. Gevaerts?
Morgoth: OR AN AWFULLY AMERICAN ONE.
Luke: Yeah, well... these morons drank all of the good ****.
sly: What are you doing here? I figured I'd find you at AoKH with Aro.
Luke: Reality, son. She's a cold, back-stabbing, trampy, suggestively-dressed *****, see.
Aro: No worries man! I didn't expect anyone to stay.... The place was dead, and all people can do there now is discuss cooking. You know... the MORE FOR ME, and all that!
Luke: Aro, no hard feelings mate. But we talk a lot on MSN already and... well, that's quicker.
Aro: Of course. ^^ As long as you're still naming your first son Aro, it's all good.
Luke: Yeah... right. *takes another drink*
sly: So Luke... have you seen any of the old Splash crew around?
Luke: Thank the three sons of Jesus you didn't ask about the progress on ATW, kid. But uh... if you mean the TC forumers that are left, naw. You can barely recognize anybody in this joint.

Narrator: All of the sudden, from within the crowd, there's a loud cry; the howl of a wolf. Something pushes through the crowd, knocking down brawlers, spilling the drinks of various OD patrons. He approaches the four men, growling. He was somewhat short, hairy, sweaty, and clearly intoxicated. What else was new?

Morgoth: Oh lawdy!
???: Did somebody... DID SOMEBODY... AAARGH, DID SOMEBODY-
Aro: say joint, yeah, yeah, I recognize my druggy Splasher stereotype anywhere. Heya Ornlu.
Ornlu: Uh... hi!
All: ...
Ornlu: Anyway... if there's no joint here-
Aro: We're looking for the other Splashers. You're going to join us.
Ornlu: ... Oh baby Aro, you don't have to tell me twice. *grins*
Morgoth: HE's MIEN.
Aro: BURN IN HELL MORGALAFOGUS.
Luke: YOU!!
All: ...
Luke: Eh... sorry. The brew's finally kicking in.
All: ...
Luke: Quit staring at me, damn it.
sly: OK... let's see here. Ornlu, do *you* know where any of the Splashers are?
Ornlu: Lost touch with them, really. I know nav still hangs around at the Port, dreaming of the open seas of olde, saucy wenches, screaming gulls, and other captainesque lingo.
Aro: YAY PRECIOUS NAV! He'll know where the rest are! And once we find everyone, we can band together and revolt against FL!
All: ...
Aro: Or have some fun before we're banned for setting foot in OD without moderator escourts, and then proceed to drink ourselves dumb.
Luke: Hell, that sounds like a great plan. I'm halfway there as it is.
Morgoth: And my liver wants to hurt.
Ornlu: And I wouldn't mind eating the rest of the surviving Splashers using an ancient form of ritualistic cannibalism.
sly: Alright then! We have ourselves a movie!
All: ...
sly: I see we're using the group silence emote a lot today...
Luke: Whatever. Let's hit the road, boys!
Aro: OKAY!! *glee*
Ornlu: Heyheyhey!
sly: Woo! The New New Splash Spash!
Morgoth: I'M TIRED ARE WE THERE YET?

Narrator: The Splashers felt somehow reinvigorated. The last two years were spent drinking, or in Aro's case, eating over-cooked sand and sulking endlessly; somehow this small change was big enough to inspire memories of the good ol' days, when there was something to do at HG that didn't involve being bored and getting stupider by arguing. Actually having fun, having an adventure... this was what the valiant Splashers lived for.

The group marched through the crowds happily, slowly making their way to the OD "Sailing" sub-forum. Not surprisingly, this area was far less crowded than the spam-fest that infested the center, but... it was actually pretty nice. It had a relaxed aura about it... very reminicent of the old Crier. Gulls cawed overhead, as a small group of forumers made their way out of the port area, passing next to the Splashers. All of the sudden, one of them pulled sly to the side.


CK: They're archiving this forum pretty soon. Might wanna leave this area.
sly: It's OK... we won't be here long.
CK: Alright, don't say I didn't warn you. Off to OD I go! LALALALA-
Aro: *sigh* I remember when he was a part of Splash Splash.
Morgoth: I don't care.
Aro: DON'T MAKE ME PUNCH YOU.
Morgoth: MERCYIFUL FATES!!!
Luke: What does nav look like these days, Ornlu?
Ornlu: A ship captain.
Luke: Ah... I think we found our man. *points*

Narrator: In the distance is what can only described as a dusty ol' ship captain, chewing on an old television plug as he looks out at the blackened seas. Oddly, there's not a ship in sight. The group approaches him slowly, but he doesn't acknowledge their presence; rather, he just continues staring out.

nav: Arrrgh...
Ornlu: What?
nav: Arr... she be out there. The Cow Gone Mad... I be awaitin' 'er return.
Aro: Cut the pirate crap! You're from Idaho, damn it!
nav: Ohio... arrgh.
sly: One of the furthest geological places from the ocean in America. How appropriate.
nav: Aye.
All: ...
nav: Anyway, what do yee land-lubbers want?
Ornlu: We want you to join us on an amazing new Splash Splash adventure!
nav: Arr, I can't be leaving the port. Waiting for my ship.
Aro: Dude... the Cow Gone Mad is, like, gone now, like.
Ornlu: If I remember right, Fearless Leader banned it, cap'n. Right in front of you. That insensitive bastard.
nav: Nope... she's coming back. GoC and zyx are in banland with her. They're bringing her back. I know it.
Luke: You can be dellusional all you like, mate. Let's move along now, folks. No sense in trying to make sense to a clearly demented individual... plus, my "new adventure" buzz is wearing off.
Ornlu: Come on Nav. Man, we need a captain!
nav: I'm waiting for the CGM. She's coming back. I know it.
Aro: Come on Navy-bear, you know you miss the adventures of old.
nav: I miss my ship more....
All: *sad acknowledgement of nav's mental state*
Luke: Alright, I'm done being sorrowful. I had two years for that. Come on guys.
Morgoth: I'm always sorrowful. THAT I'M STUCK WITH YOU GUYS.
All: ...
Morgoth: Totally like old times. Totally.
Aro: Let's go see who we can find next, crew. Nav... you know where to find us.
nav: I'll see you on the Cow Gone Mad.
Aro: Right...
Morgoth: MARCH, MARCH, MARCH, MARCH-

Narrator: The crew continues their new adventure. Although this new HeavenGames, 4OD, seems depressing and desolate, a small flame of hope has finally ignited. Some of the old Town's Crier crew have united once again, and are looking forward to reuniting with the rest of the group and having some fun. Who will they find next in the mess that is Outside Discussions? Find out on during next Splash Splash Screenplay!!!


Screenplay Pt. XIV
By Thunder77


Narrator: When we last left our heroes, they were being heroic in a state of heroism, in the dock of heroes in the hero subsection of the Sailing section of the OD forum.
Actual Narrator: *punts Narrator* Jerk, stole my nametag. *clears throat, and speaks in an epic "Halo announcer" voice* When we last left our heroes, they were banding together in the OD forum to try and bring back the good ol' days.


Aro: MARCH MARCH MARCH MA-
???: Bah-buzzah! *jumps out from behind a storage gate on the pier*
Morgoth: lolwut
???: FREEZE, MORTALS!
sly: Who are you?
???: IT IS I, THE TRUE AROCRATIC LEADER! SCUD!
Luke: *facepalm* srsly?
nav: Yeargh, matey. Why his name be red?
Aro: Wow. Scud is an angel?
Scud: THAT'S RIGHT MORTALS! THE RIGHT HAND OF FEARLESS LEADER! I AM HERE TO STOP YOU!
sly: Is it part of your job description to always be scre-
Scud: SILENCE, INFIDELS! I've been watching you, sly and Aro, since you arrived here in OD!
Aro: Great. That means you know our plan, huh?
Scud: YES, THAT IS CORRECT. *glares at Luke, whispering angerly* And I heard you talking trash about Ana!
Luke: Me? I did no such thing.
Scud: Yes you did, I heard you! It's just because she's on account smurfing patrol! She's a little emotional!
Luke: Ah wait, I remember. I was talking about fate, you dunce.
Scud: *grumbles* That was my grounds for arresting you too... NO MATTER! I will ban you for conspiracy! Muahahaha!
Aro: Wait, why'd you randomly start following us?
Scud: Old AoKHers don't just appear randomly... I was suspicious, ok?
sly: So there was no alert or wanted posters?
Scud: No. Hah, aren't I smart?
*Aro and sly look at eachother*

Narrator: Scud's frontal lobe was then met with an untimely accident with a barrel of mead.

Aro: *wipes hands* That aughta do it.
nav: Yeargh. Ye land lubbers are finally findin' the use o' mead, I can see! Har har har!
Luke: He sure didn't get any smarter over the years.

Narrator: The AoKHers marched along throughout OD until sly saw something strange on the ground, half buried by sand.

sly: Hey, what's this?
Aro: *dusts it off* Looks like an old, broken AoKH link.
Luke: Half o' one, at least.
nav: Yeargh, it be trash. Throw it overboard.
Morgoth: We're on land...
sly: Wait. *turns it over* It says something on the back.
Aro: *reads aloud* "If you recognize this sign, find a thread in the OD archives with the same name that was last updated in 2008."
Luke: A clue!
sly: A clue!
nav: Yeargh, a clue!
All: ...
Aro: MARCH MARCH MARCH MA-

Narrator: The AoKHers headed deep into the archives of Outside Discussions, when they finally found an old, broken-down thread with boarded windows that looked vaguely familiar.

sly: I think this is it. "The AoKH Designer's Tavern".
Aro: Hah, I remember this place! *knocks on the door*
Voice Behind Door: Thy outside the door... what was the name of the seventeeth Splash Splash?
nav: Yeargh, The Enlightenment, hosted by Medieval Warfare!
*silence*
Voice: *mumbling* By golly, that's right... *opens the door* Welcome, friends!
All: Thundy!
Thunder77: Omgosh! Do my eyes decieve me?! Sly? nav? Luke? Morgoth? ...and Aro?!
All: ...Thundy!
sly: I can't believe you actually found this place!
Thunder77: SHH! Come inside. Nobody must know we're here.

Narrator: The AoKHers then entered the old beaten-up bar, and followed Thunder77 down a set of stairs in the back room. Around them, they saw something they hadn't seen in many, many years.

...but what was it? Find out next time, on the Splash Splash Screenplay!


Screenplay Pt. XV -- Tribulation Force
by Basse

Narrator: The echoes of the word 'hello' bounces in every direction. Everything is in total darkness, a huge void. There is no ground, yet something is apparently still walkable.

zyx: Hello? Anyone there?

zyx runs forward but he comes nowhere, the blacksness stays the same, nothing around him changes. Despite the darkness, his body and clothes are lightened up as if in daylight.

zyx: GAIS IF YOUR PLAYING HIDE N SEEK WITH ME THEN STOP, DIZ IS NO FUNNY ANYMOAR!

All of a sudden, matty appears at zyx's feet. zyx is overwhelmed with happiness and gives him a neanderthal hug that squeezes out the last of matty's energy.

Matty: Ouch, stop it.
zyx: Me so happy!
Matty: Well don't be, it kills me
GoC: Hey look, more people!
Matty: Where'd you come from?
GoC: I've been here for moths... I think. There's really no way of knowing
zyx: Where is here?
Matty: I... don't know frankly.

Then, a mighty voice echoes through the black void;

???: YOU'RE IN BANLAND
GoC: Who is this?
Matty: I recognise that voice...
???: It's me, nublets.
GoC: Colo! How'd you get here?
Colo: I was banned... again.
Matty: So this is banland?
Colo: Quite depressing huh?
zyx: Colo
Colo: Don't you dare hug- ouch, too late
zyx: Zug zug, give zyx a hug hug
Colo: let go of me
Matty: ... right. If this is banland, does that mean we're banned?
Colo: Well, duh?
Matty: I mean, I'm a moderator, they can't ban me!
GoC: It's happened before.
zyx: ME WANTS TO GO HOMES
Colo: We are going home.
Matty: How exactly do you plan to do that?
Colo: I have my tricks...

Colo closes his eyes and starts looking very concentrated, close to accidently taking a dump. Suddenly, from all directions, the bodies of three other banned people are shot towards them; Basse, Cobra and Gwame.

Gwame: Woah, what the-
Basse: Matty, Colo, you, err, neanderthal-guy! Where are we?
Colo: Banland
Cobra: How'd you do that Colo? I've been trying to find someone else in here for several days
GoC: Days? We were banned months ago
Matty: I just got here...
Gwame: More like a year
Basse: Being banned, what a shameful deed, what have I done to get this punishment? Why oh why have this curse been placed on me?
Colo: Shut up, it's no big deal
Basse: NO BIG DEAL!? I'VE NEVER BEEN BANNED BEFORE, YOU'VE SPENT MORE TIME HERE THAN YOU'VE SLEPT IN YOUR LIFE
Gwame: You got a warning once, remember?
Basse: I WAS YOUNG AND DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER! SCUD MADE ME!
Colo: Right, nobody cares about a single urge for a spamattack, it's a piss in the ocean
Cobra: He's right, we have more urgent matter at hand. First, how do we get out of here?
Matty: We have to ask a moderator and prove our innocense?
Cobra: Something like that. But how do we contact a mod?
Gwame: Matty's still a cherub right? Technically, if he accepted our apologies or whatever, he could bring us back. But he wouldn't come himself...
Colo: There are easier ways of doing this. *Colo gets another close-to-dump-concentration-attack and out of the nothing, the CowGoneMade crashes down and lands in a sea of black water-antimatter-thingy?*
GoC: How do you do all this?
Colo: Like the nublet said, I have actually spent a lot of time here, and after a while I figured out how to control some of it. I got out by myself once actualy, remember Mature Colo?
Gwame: Vaguely...
Basse: I'm not a n00b anymore
Colo: You will always be a n00b to me Basse
Basse: How flattering
Colo: Most certainly. Now do some good and sail that ship
Basse: I've never sailed a ship before!
Colo: You can't do it wrong dumbass, it's the easiest ship to sail in the cyberspace.
Basse: HOW?
Colo: See that big hole near the steering wheel thingy?
Basse: YES!?
Colo: This ship runs on spam. If you spam down that hole, it fills the tank and the ship will automatically start sailing in autopilot, taking us back to its owner, nav. Once we find him, he can sail it for real.
Gwame: So basically we just have to spam a little to get out of here?
Colo: Pretty much
Cobra: Is it that easy?
Colo: Those who build defenses never fully understand the genius of idiocy
Basse: But... I can't spam
GoC: Of course you can
Basse: I haven't spammed for... I don't know how long!
Colo: It's easy, just scream random things into the hole and see it fill up
Basse: But I-
Colo: YOU CAN DO IT YOU DUMBASS! YOU CAN! YOU MUST!! NOW GO UP AND START THEM ENGINES BEFORE I FORCE YOU!
Basse: Right oh right...

Narrator: Basse had indeed become a horrible spammer in later days but eventually he managed to bring back his old skills, his darker side as he refers to it.

Basse: +1 +1 +1, SPLASH, IMMA CHARGIN' MA LAZAR!, SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB, IF YOU LOVE TO SAIL THE SEAS YOU R A PIRATE, WATCH DIZ VIDZ I MAKE, LALALALALALALALA, ME HAS UR NOSE! OH NOES! BWAHAHA, ME R FUNNY!
zyx: Hehe, he's funny
Matty: No he's not
zyx: OK

And finally, after a long spamming session, the tank was filled and the CowGoneMad lifted, with its tiny crew of six, and roared upwards. In the far off darkness, a crack in the antimatter-thingy-nothing opened up to a grey sky, more precisely the one quite close to the 4OD port. And they burst out, into the ocean, in what once was HeavenGames.

Gwame: We did it!
Basse:
Matty: Basse, you can stop now.
Cobra: What the... this can't be AoKH?
Colo: It seems we were gone longer than we thought...

The sight of the grey, stinking 4OD in the far against bthe dark sky sets a classic post-apocalyptic setting to the tale. Now the time has come for the remaining splashers to unite. How that happends, you'll find out later. HAHA!


Screenplay Pt. XVI -- Banland
by NeverFinished

Narrator: as the Cow Gone Mad set sail for the other splash splashers, several more forumers, whom were not in good physical nor mental condition, remained in banland. It was an hour or so before the echoes off the takeoff reached their ears.

Jatayu: Did you hear something?
NeverFinished: You mean that weird sound?
Jatayu: Sounded like spamming.
NF: What's spam?
Jatayu: I don't remember--it just sounds like it.
Bleedteal: ponty moithon...
NF: Shut it.
Jatayu: We're going to die in here....
NF: The ban tree leaves tasted like ---- when we got here and they still taste the same.
Jatayu: Plus which, everyone keeps bumping into them....
SonicShadow: Everyone ready for another rendition of 'Jingle Bells'?
trebuchet king: If I could see you Sonic Shadow....I would eat you....mmmmmmmmm
Jatayu: OK...no more renditions of 'Jingle bells'. And stop eating Morgoth's dead father TK...
TK: How can you--
Jatayu: I can hear you...wait...was that his heart I just heard popp--
Bleedteal: Oooo...that's pretty tasty..*splorch*
SS: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....
NF: AUUGGGHH!!!!!!!
Jatayu: I am a rock in a sea of chaos, I am a rock in a sea of chaos, I am a rock in a sea of chaos...
TK: THAT'S MY HALF!
Bleedteal: SHUT UP!

Narrator: As the forumers' insanity projected itself in an audio format, it shattered a small part of the banland wall. The crack made its way around the banland wall until making a huge circle. The forumers stopped talking/singing/eating/yelling and looked up. A small amount of light shone through for a moment, the sea began pouring in like something that was very angry, and the rest of the banland wall was shattered. A few moments later, they found themselves swimming in the great AoKH sea.

NF: *breathless*
Jatayu: *breathless*
SS: *breathless*
TK: *breathless*
Bleedteal: *breathless*
Jatayu: I haven't seen such a display of breathlessness in all my years...
TK: We're home!
NF: Not exactly...we need to get to shore to find the other splash splashers.
Bleadteal: That villager was tasty...oh well
TK: You practically hogged him anyway
A large piece of banland wall floated towards the forumers
SS: Look at this! Lucky for us that it floats..
Jatayu: How are we even going to use it though...we'll need a sail...
ALL: .........
NF: I know we all have the same idea...
ALL: .........

Narrator, and so, the forumers climbed aboard the floating wall piece and proceeded to strip naked, in order to make a sail for their new 'boat'.

Bleedteal: I dub this ship, The Large Banland Wall Piece
SS: That's a dumb name...
Bleedteal: I've already named it...the process can't be reversed
Jatayu: We really didn't need to take off all our clothes...its a pretty huge sail as it is without our underwear and TK's strange pair of...umm....whatever it was under his pants.
TK: You're the one to be talking, just look at the size of your---

Narrator: During a dispute due to penis envy, the forumers started to notice something coming closer at an alarming rate in the distance.

NF: MY GOD!
SS: IT COULDN'T BE!
TK: Is this for real?
ALL: *GASP*

What did the naked forumers discover? How shocking was it? Will they ever find the other forumers again? Tune in next time for more action on 'The Arocracy Rules'


Screenplay Pt. XVII
By Aro

Narrator: We join the Splash crew in the recently-discovered Scenario Design Tavern. They are standing in shock at the sight of... something!

Aro: Uhh... what is it?
Thunder77: Alright, get ready for this.
All: ...
Thunder77: A hand cannon, straight from an AoK cannoneer!
Morgoth: *facepalm*
Aro: What can we use a freaking pixel gun for? THIS IS, AS A WHOLE, QUITE DISAPPOINTING.
Luke: Wait, wait...

*Luke quickly picks up the cannon and points it at Thunder's head.*

Luke: I've been waiting for an opportunity like this to present itself, gentlemen. Thunder, if you ever make me say "srsly" again... care to take a guess at what happens?
Thunder77: Haha! What, you'll shoo-...
All: ....
Thunder77: K. Sorry.
Luke: Damn right. "Seriously", I say "seriously". I'm cynical, mature and one bad mother****er. Get it right.
Thunder77: Anyway, *carefully takes the cannon away from Luke* I haven't explain why I'm here yet! I'm trying to overthrow FL and bring back AoKH Scenario Design! A long time ago, I found a link to the AoKH Design Tavern in one of my old projects, and, omgosh, it wasn't broken! It turns out ol' retarded FL didn't delete the threads in SD, or any other AoKH forums, he just hid them! And I have a feeling that, with modding, we can develop and mod new, awesome weapons to take him down with!
Ornlu: Wait, wait, wait... who said we were going to overthrow FL? We're not on an adventure.
Morgoth: YEAH FL'S GOD LOL!
Aro: He freaking punched me through a wall dude. I mean... it was a freaking wall. It hurt.
Ornlu: Right now we're just collecting Splashers, Thundy. To have a drunken, merry time together, with plenty of hallucinations afterwards. It'll be that fun.
Thunder77: So no guns?
Luke: No.
sly: No thanks.
Aro: Nein.
Ornlu: Noooooo...
Morgoth: *snorts*
Thunder77: Alright... well, we can use the Tavern here as a base if you want.
Luke: Depends. What kind of beer?
Thunder77: Miller Lite.
Luke: I'm not switching from Coors Lite piss to Miller Lite piss, so no thanks. We'll find a different base.
Thunder77: What can I do for the team then?
Ornlu: Comic relief!
Thunder77: Son of a... that's always my role! Most of the Splashers share that role already! Why can't I innovate?! Provide weapons, or be a tough guy, or a bodyguard to the secrets we're holding, or something!
Luke: Look, you can either dance while we pull the strings, or you can stay in this Tavern , all alone. I'm still pissed at you making me say "srsly". That's ****ing horrible.
Thunder77: Damn it... alright. *takes out rubber chicken* Wakawaka....
Luke: Good boy. Now let's move along, shall we?
sly: Yeah, sounds good to me.
Aro: Everybody, follow meeeeeeeeee!!11!1
All: ....
Aro: I'm damn serious. Follow me.
Ornlu: Right.

Narrator: The group leaves the Scenario Design Tavern into the chaotic OD main. Luke pulls sly out of the way as an idiot with underwear over his head runs by, his flamethrower blasting at a group of drunks.

Thunder77: This place smells awful. I miss my lemon-scented Tavern.
sly: I thought HeavenGames used to have pretty good moderators.
Luke: Used to. But moderation doesn't sell. People like calling other people idiots and seeing pictures of objects "banging" other objects. It's human nature.
sly: What about discussing games?
Aro: It doesn't make as much money, man. 4OD is focused on expanding, so the owners recieve a larger paycheck each month. That's why there's no front page anymore; it's just a big, giant ad.
Luke: This network was founded on building game communities. Their new business plan replaced the word "game" with "idiotic".
sly: So how could we save it?
Morgoth: Wat?
sly: HeavenGames?
Aro: HEAVENGAMES IS DEAD MAN. =( IT'S GONE, ALL GONE!
sly: Okay... how could we save this "4OD"?
Luke: Awfully optimistic thinking, bud. I don't think it's possible unless smart, motivated people could take over. And, unless you've had your eyes closed, there aren't any in sight.
sly: Our group, Splash Splash! We're all-
Morgoth: ROFLMAO
sly: Okay, well... Aro and Luke. They were staff members at AoKH.
Aro: I'd like to rebuild *AoKH*. Only AoKH. Some kind of... "AoKH Tribute" Heaven thing. I loved AoKH. AoKH was very cool. We should make, like, a giant tribute to-
Luke: It's not worth it. The good ol' days are gone. I came with you guys to have a drink and a good time. After that, I'm going back to OD to have idiots throw up on me routinely. No grand adventures for me, boys.
Ornlu: Me neither. *scratches self*
Morgoth: Me ne-
sly: Alright...

Narrator: It was difficult for sly to process. Somehow, deep down, he had hoped he could get the Splashers to take initiative, to try to take back this new HeavenGames with him, but they seemed unresponsive, afraid. They clearly hated their new lifestyle and all that they were doing; now, all he had to do was convince them that the old HeavenGames was an idea worth fighting for and winning back.


Screenplay Pt. XVIII - The beginning of the end of the new beginning
By Basse

Gwame: What happend here?
Colo: It looks like Fearless Leader won after all.
Basse: He couldn't have! That would mean... it would mean AoKH is gone...
Matty: It seems that way
Basse: Gone... forever... this can't be true. I won't let it be!
Matty: What could you possibly do about? What could WE do about?
Basse: Revolt!
Cobra: Yea right. Take a look at the shore Basse, what do you see?
Basse: A horde of drunkards and lunatics?
Cobra: Exactly. That's what FL has made this place into. This ain't HeavenGames anymore, this is 4OD - Heaven of mindless spam, pointless flaming and illogical behaviour.
Colo: And how would you know?
Cobra: I can read

Narrator: Cobra points at a huge ugly neon-sign that stands on the beach, screening the words "4OD - Heaven of mindless spam, pointless flaming and illogical behaviour" in neon green and pink. Below it is an image of a spam can.

GoC: That's just horrifying.
Basse: But what about the others? There must be some splashers left somewhere!
Matty: Hopefully. But if they've lived together with those guys on the beach while we were away in Banland, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd gone nuts as well.
Jatayu: Hey! Folks, look over here!

Jatayu and the other banland crew sails past the CGM on a piece of banwall.

Matty: You! You survived! How?
Colo: What's with all the nudity?
TK: We needed sails.
Basse: Come on board! Well, take down the sails first...
Jatayu: So the old CGM's still floating is she?

After some "good to see y'all" talk and random horrified faces everytime someone looked at the shore, the crew gathers to dicuss their plans.

Bleedteal: So... you guys have a plan?
Colo: How could we? We just got out of Banland.
Bleedteal: Well you're the ones with the CGM
Colo: So?
Bleedteal: It's our flagship for Aro's sake! It still remaining intact must mean something!
Basse: I have a plan!
Colo: Don't try nublet. Now, my idea would be that we let the ship sail as it wants, that would lead us to its captain, nav. He would then be able to sail it further and use its powers to the limit. Then we find as many of the remaining splashers that still haven't lost their minds, find FL and kill him.
Matty: Kill him?
Colo: Well, he'll always be back for a sequel, but we'll have won for now.
Basse: I have a better idea
Colo: Really?
Basse: Let's build a balloon!
All: ...
Basse: What?
GoC: What on earth would we need a balloon for?
Basse: That way we can see all of 4OD and search for any non-lunatic splasher!
Matty: Do we have binoculars?
Basse: Err... we could make some
Colo: Do we have a balloon?
Basse: Well, we could do like with the sails...
Jatayu: No way I'm surrendering my underwear again!
TK: Hehe, guess why..
Jatayu: Shut up. We can't run around stripping all the time, I say we go with Colo's plan
All: Yay
Basse: Objection!
Colo: Denied. Now, let's find nav.

The CGM crew stays on deck and keeps an eye out for nav on the shore. They're still far off the shore and their wait is long. Meanwhile Basse, grumpy since no one ever likes his supposedly fantabulous ideas, sneaks below deck and loots the supply stash. When nobody sees, he runs out with a duvet made out of old Splash Splash banners, a flamethrower, old spam for fuel and a coffee mug. He hops into a rescue boat, the only one on the ship.

Colo: Hey, what do you think you're doing?
Basse: I'm realizing my plan! Don't try to stop me!
Colo: I won't
Basse: Fine... well, don't even think about stopping me
Colo: I'm not thinking about
Basse: Yes you are
Colo: Am not
Basse: Oh yes
Colo: No. You're free to leave
Basse: Ha, you're just saying that to make me think-
Colo: No really, I can't stand you
Basse: Oh
Colo: So... go now?
Basse: Nah I'm not sure?
Colo: please?
Basse: If you insist

Basse ties the banners to the boat and lits the flamethrower and manages to create a hot air balloon. The boat slowly rises from the shipside and goes into the air. Using the oars, he moves forward.

Basse: So long suckers!
Colo: Ah, finally. Peace...
Matty: Where'd he go?
Colo: I don't know and I don't care
Matty: You're mean.
Colo: I know, and I like it.
NeverFinished: Do we have ny food on board?
GoC: Should be in the stash below deck
NF: Well there are raw potatoes, but nothing else.
Colo: WHAT? But it's always filled, who-
All: ...
Colo: *Yells to the skies* YOU ****** OF A ******** WITH ******** ON A SANDWICH AND ******** ON TOP! ***********!!!
All: ...
Basse: That's for making me spam again, HAHA!!

The CGM crew survived starvation for another hour while Basse's balloon drifted off in the sky and the shore in the distant came closer and closer. Suddenly, they could hear a roar from the beach and they saw something come towards them on the water in rapid speed.

NF: It's a whale!
GoC: It's a motor boat!
Colo: No... it's nav!

In the blink of an eye nav jumps from the water and hugs the main mast in a for him very emotional moment.

Matty: Err, nav, we're here too. Remember us? Splash Splash and that stuff?
nav: Of course landlubbers, old nav nereforgets his fellow buccanners!
Colo: Good. Could you take is to FL?
nav: With me ship ye say? Very well, I`ll show ye sailin' that ye nerecould be havin' imagine!

And he runs to the steering wheel, grabs it, pushes some buttons and suddenly the sails expand, and on the shipsides jet engines pop out.

nav: Hold onto yer treasures scumbags, this be goin' t' be a bumpy ride!

With a SSSCCHHWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! the CGM blast off, like an ultrarapid bowling ball it strikes down mindless spammers on land as it flies like the Flying Dutchman from AoE, but much much faster.

How will this all end? Will there be an actual revolt? Where'd Basse hide all the food? You'll see, later...



Screenplay Pt. XIX - Epic Reunion
By Basse

Narrator: Speeding through the masses of braindead spammers in 4OD, nav makes a sharp turn with the CGM that throws the entire crew to the right edge of the ship. He steers the flying ship in behind a conveniently placed mountain from the AoK editor so that it can't be seen by any of the 4ODers on the other side.

GoC: What now?
nav: We need a plan mateys.
Jatayu: Didn't we already have a plan?
Matty: Not a good one.
Jatayu: You mean to blast into FL's headquarters and kill him isn't a good plan?
Matty: Err, no?

Narrator: Before they get any longer into their dialogue, a white light lights up the place. They all turn around and squint at the light, who happens to emerge from that neanderthal guy, what's-his-name, zyx. Zyx is glowing allk white and, suddenly, his body changes from front-bended neanderthal/gorilla shape into a modern human kind. The light wears off and, from where neanderthal-zyx stood, a suit-dressed zyx appears.

zyx: Frankly, I have a better idea.
Cobra: Wait, what the-
Jatayu: What the world was that!?
zyx: Oh, that was just me evolving. Now, see-
GoC: Evolving?
Gwame: Like a Pokťmon?
zyx: Well, technically, but my point is that-
Colo: You couldn't have come up with a better way to evolve? I mean, come on! Turn white? You could've used some really advanced CGI and reshape in front of our eyes!
Matty: Eh? Would we want to see that?
Colo: I would.
GoC: Right. Ehrm. Zyx, what was your plan again?
zyx: Thank you. Now, first off, we need to gather all the old splashers. There are quite few of us here but I'm sure there must be others.
Gwame: Like who? Scud?
zyx: I was thinking mainly of the other oldies. There were more of us. CK, Monk, Bleedteal, all the important folks.
Matty: And... how do we know where to find them?
nav: That wouldn't be no big deal my fellow buccaneers!

Narrator: Nav pushes a button near the wheel and out of the floor comes a weird machine with many blinking lamps and switches.

Colo: What the-
Matty: And how exactly is a disco bulb supposed to help us?
nav: You see my friends, this machinery will lead us to any fellow good-hearted splasher in the world of AoKH. Just let it work for a while and we will receive the coordinates to wherever they are.
Jatayu: You just happen to have a... thing like that by accident?
nav: Actually, we used it in the old days to catch up all splashers so that we could have forum parties and such, but since Aro departed a few years ago it never really was used when the forum started to die down...
GoC: But it still works?
nav: It should do.
Jatayu: What do you mean 'it should do'?
nav: I don't remember if we fixed the lil' bug it had, that it sometimes steered us right into banland to catch up some dork that had been banned already.
Colo: Ah, I remember that.
All: ...
nav: Ah look! It's found somebody!

Narrator: On a small screen, a blinking red dot shows up. Nav throws himself at the helm and torpedoes the CGM towards the object, which only he knows where it is. Meanwhile, a good few imperial miles up in the air, many kilometers away from the CGM and 4OD, Basse's odd balloon is still functioning. Basse himself, however, is not, from the extreme cold.

Basse: Brr... i..i..it's..s..s so c-c-cold! This must've b-b-been th-th-the most i...id...moronic idea I've ever had!

Narrator: But, all of a sudden, the clouds clear and the balloon emerges on top of a sea of white and orange clouds. In the distant, the sun is shining at it's best, and the clouds beneath him sparkle with colour. For a moment Basse forgets how cold it still is as he watched the beautiful sight. But the beauty of the sight doesn't last long. In the sky, there is a flying, flat, square, object that gets into Basses sight once it blocks out the sun.

Basse: What the world?

Narrator: Basse throws some more Spam cans into the fire that fuels the balloon and he soon reaches the same height as the flat object. Meanwhile, in 4OD, Sly has just had a great revelation.

Sly: Wait guys, did you just see that!?
Aro: What?
Luke: Oh for sure *hickup* I see a lot of things, hee-hee.. hehe... *hickup*
Morgoth: WAT NAOW?
Sly: It was the Cow Gone Mad!
Thunder: Nah, it couldn't have been...
Sly: Is there ANY other ship that looks like the CGM?
Aro: Not that I know of...
Sly: Well, come on! If the CGM is in the air, nav must be the one at the wheel!
Ornlu: Err, yeah? So what?
Sly: The CGM can't have appeared out of nothing! Someone must've brought it to him!
Morgoth: NO! IT MUST'VE APPREAD OUT OF NOWHERE! RANDOMNESS BEATS LOGIC!
Sly: What if there are splashers left? They saved the CGM and they're with nav now!
Luke: Hehe, he said splashers. They don't exist anymore moron, they're like dinosaurs.
Morgoth: Big and tasty?
Luke: No, extinct. *hickup*
Morgoth: Oh.
Sly: *Sigh*, what did I expect from you guys? Alright, I'm going out looking for it myself.
Aro: Oh no you're not! I'm coming with you!
Sly: Really?
Aro: Nah, just kidding
Sly: ...

Narrator: By this time, the hyperspeed CGM has reached it's goal. In the outskirts of 4OD, in the lands that once were known as the Website Feedback forum, five depressed bearded men are sitting on the ground playing Yatzy.

TK: You got a yatzy, Monk.
Monk: How sad.
CK: Looks like I'm losing. Again.
Bleedteal: Isn't there anything more boring we can do?
GoC: Hi guys.
SS: Be quiet GoC, we're trying to feel depressed.
GoC: Oh.
All: ...
GoC: ...
All: ...
GoC: ...
All: ...
GoC: ...
All: ...
GoC: ...
All: ...
GoC: ...
Bleedteal: Wait, GoC!?

Narrator: With the oldies on board, nav steers the CGM towards the next target popping up on the odd disco bulb screen thingy, which happens to be Sly and his company. Sly manages to force everyone onto the boat, even Luke once he'd been able to grab a few big packs of Miller Lite and bring it onto the ship. They follow the machinery thing towards the next, very big, red spot, which turns out to be Fattybryce. Saying they have pie below deck, they manage to get him on board as well. Then there is just one red spot left.

Jatayu: We haven't forgotten anyone have we?
Matty: I don't think so... everybody here?
All: Yes.
Matty: OK, that wasn't as smart as I thought...
Sly: We haven't found Scud yet.
Aro: SCUD!? THAT FILHY TRAITOR, THAT-
Sly: Alright, if it's not Scud then who have we forgotten?
All: ...
Colo: Tell me I'm wrong, please...

Narrator: A few good miles away, Basse steers closer to the object in the sky it and on the it he sees a tall, dark man standing, reading from a colossal book that.. what the-

Basse: Who in the world are YOU!?
Narrator: What are you doing here!? You can't be breaking the fourth wall like this!
Basse: The fourth wall, pfft. That one's been wrecked since the beginning of this story.
Narrator: Err... yea, but still, this is extreme! We can't meet!
Basse: We? Who are YOU?
Narrator: I'm the narrator!
Basse: The narrator?
Narrator: Yes, I'm the one directing this story. Now leave!
Basse: Oh no, I'm not leaving yet! First you're going to help me find Fearless Leader!
Narrator: You should've stayed on the ship dumbass, they're going to find him much faster than you are!
Basse: And how do you know that?
Narrator: Because I have the MANUSCRIPT, moron!
Basse: Wait, the manuscript?
Narrator: YES!
Basse: Let me see.
Narrator: What? No, you'd ruin the entire-
Basse: SPINACH!?
Narrator: What?
Basse: This is just SO unrealistic! I detest spinach!
Narrator: What the world are you babbling about!?

*the sun is blocked out. Both Basse and the narrator turns around to see what's going on*

Basse: What the world?
Narrator: That's the biggest ship I've ever seen!
Basse: But, what is it?
Narrator: I don't know...
Basse: Well READ IT! It must be in the manuscript!
Narrator: Right. *flaps back a few pages* "Then suddenly the sun is blocked out by a gigantic, flying ship formed as a sock, with the toe section in glass. Inside it, a man spookily much looking like Fearless Leader stands and shouts through the speakers on the ship;"
????: Surrender now, Mr Narrator! If you do not give me the book and pen, I will blast you and... er, well, that guy over there, to smithereens!
Narrator: Wait, you're not Fearless Leader!
????: What? Of course I am!
Narrator: Fearless Leader is much taller than you?
????: Taller?
Narrator: You're like a midget!
????: A midget!?
Narrator: Fearless Leader is like three meters tall!
????: Well, this is just my camouflage!
Narrator: Fearless leader needs no camouflage!
Basse: FL wouldn't even need a ship! He could FLY or teleport his way up here!
????: But-
Narrator: And if he really wanted a ship, he wouldn't have designed it to look like a stinking sock!
Basse: You're not FL!
????: But, no! I AM Fearless Leader! I promise!
Basse: LIES!
????: Argh! Bah, alright, I give up, I'm not Fearless leader.
Narrator: You don't say?
Basse: Who are you then?
????: My name is Fearful Wench.
Basse: Fearful Wench!?
FW: Don't mock me, I've heard everything
Narrator: Why the world would you come up here then?
Basse: And in THAT?
FW: Er... well, frankly, I was bored. I really need something evil to do to cheer me up and to steal the narrator's job would be something I've never done before.
Narrator: You want to take my job!?
FW: Exactly! That's why I came here! Now hand me the book and pen!
Narrator: Basse, do something!
Basse: What? ME!?
Narrator: Yes! I'm no good fighter!
Basse: Well neither am I!
Narrator: Oh well, you will be soon!

Narrator: Then suddenly, a random very powerful force overcame Basse and he transformed into a superhero with the power to shoot laser from his fingertips. His name was... um... Mega Basse? Yea, that'll do.

Basse: Mega Basse? Oh please, come on!
Narrator: Just go fight FW! Off you go! *kicks Basse off the square*
Basse: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh...
Narrator: Just fly up moron! Oh wait... *grabs pen*

Narrator: Oh, and, Mega Basse can also break the laws of nature and fly as he wishes.

Basse: *falling* IT'S NOT WORKING!

Narrator: There must be some sort of code then.. hm... ah! NOCLIP! Basse suddenly stops falling and he can now control exactly how he moves. He flies into the ship and pops up right in front of Fearful Wench.

FW: How the world did you do that!?
Basse: That's none of your business. Now get ready to meet your maker...
FW: But... I have met him already!
Basse: Whaa?
Narrator: Actually, I invented FW.
Basse: Bah, whatever. IMMA FAHRING MA LAZAHR!

Narrator: Basse shoots lasers all over the place, wrecking the ship, shattering it into pieces. Fearful Wench clings to one of the huge speakers as he falls down. Then, once the ship is completely destroyed, Mega Basse turns into regular Basse again.

Basse: What the-? No!

Narrator: NOCLIP

Basse: *falling again* YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! SOME DAY! MAYBE... AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhh...

Narrator: Phew, at last that's over. Now where were we? Right. Basse falls down the sky, tumbling in a very unique way on his way down, lithe as a hippopotamus, and, in the end, crashes down into the sail of the CGM.

Basse: The pain, oh the pain...
Colo: Ack no... *buries face in hands*
Jatayu: Wait, Basse was the last dot on the map?
nav: Seems that way, mateys! Let's go!
zyx: Wait, we still don have a p-

Narrator: and again, with SSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O OOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!1ONE111!!!, the CGM takes of and cruises the airspace of 4OD. In the end, zyx managed to stop nav and slow the ship down, steer in behind the same mountain they started at, and gather the entire crew to make up a proper plan...


Screenplay Pt. XX -- An Irrelevant Ending
By Aro

At last... they were reunited. The crew stood before the giant Cow Gone Mad, as the realization sunk in that it had been two whole years since they last saw it. Aro put his hand on the ship; it felt just as wooden, textured, and ship-feely as it had in the past. nav was behind the wheel, beaming.

Luke: I do believe a celebratory drink is in order, folks. I've almost sobered up, so uh... let's hurry to the bar, shall we?
Aro: HELLS YES MO'FRACKER. We came all of this way for *something*.
nav: Drinks? I don't think so.
Morgoth: LOLWUT??!
Ornlu: I'm damn thirsty. Didn't we come all of this way for a final drink together? To get hammered and let a certain wolf take advantage of you all while you're intoxicated, hint-hint?
xyz: Hell no. We were in banland for two friggin' years. Where the hell were all of you?
Aro: ... foruming, I guess.
xyz: We're supposed to be a community. Splash Splash, damn it, Dark_Aro, you should've known that. We should be banned as a community. There's no point to foruming if we have no community to latch onto and degrade like leeches, right?
GoC: Why weren't you guys banned? We could've picked up where we left off in bandland at least....
Cobra: After you guys were banned, things got really fuzzy. It's hard to remember any details.
xyz: You forgot that Splash Splash is united, guys. Now tell me, were all of those years we spent chatting in Splash Splash worth it? Did it make Splash Splash worth fighting for, did it make you truly appreciate what we had in that thread, as a community, as something that kept us entertained for so many hours? Was all of that time posting worth it?
All: *group nod*
xyz: Alright then. We're going to kick the crap out of FL. Who's out, right now?
Luke: Well, folks, I... I just came for a dri-
xyz: Then leave.
All: ...
xyz: You gone, Luke?
Luke: Bleh... I'm still here.
xyz: Alright, who else?
Ornlu: FL's really strong and stuff. He has the powers of Zen.
Aro: He punched me through a freakin' wall, dude. A WALL. And I was a Seraph too. A freakin' wall, man.
xyz: Then go ahead and leave.
Ornlu: ... Damn it, you know we can't leave, zyx. You sexy, assertive man, you.
Aro: Alright, I'm with ya bro. How we gonna do this?
Thundy: Those few years in banland must've given you guys a lot of time to think.
GoC: Yep. I got my Masters degree in Philosophy.

xyzomma proceeds to explain his plan to the crew. It sounds both half-assed and illogical, yet just crazy enough to work; clearly the Splash Splash style. They all board the ship, with nav at the helm. GoC points towards the center of 4OD, a giant "Forum Etiquette" thread, and nav turns the ship immediately. The crew looks at the blue wreckage below them; amazingly, there was very little activity. Nothing was happening... drunks had stopped throwing punches, flamethrowers were on the ground, threads continued to sizzle yet nobody was dancing in the flames. Instead, everybody was looking up at the CGM, watching the ship as it floated above them.

sly: What's going on?
Luke: ... not a damn clue....
GoC: They're watching us.
sly: Why?
nav: Nobody has ever seen a ship before. A flying one, at that. They know somethings up.
Luke: Yeah, well, let's hope they don't decide to let FL know we're coming for him.
Thundy: Ehh... I think he already knows.

Narrator: In the Forum Etiquette tower, miles from the CGM, there's a distinctive orange glow radiating from the top. A figure floats up above it, looking over the forums. He floats down, into the tower.

Luke: Discomforting to say the least.
GoC: nav, full speed.
nav: Uh, I don't think I'll be able to turn in time.
GoC: Doesn't matter. Keep going straight.
Thundy: Turn for what? Where?
Aro: What direction are you describing there, honcho?
nav: Ayeaye, GoC.
xyz: Alllllright folks, we have any seatbelts?
Morgoth: WEHR ARE WE GOING? Why do we need seatbelts?
GoC: I think I used the seatbelts to catch children in banland for supper, zyx.
Warlord: We're going really fast now....
Morgoth: WHY ARE WE GOING SO FAST?
xyz: Ah yes, the children. Why did we use seatbelts to catch them? All we had to do was promise them candy.
Luke: Heeey, why don't you guys slow this ship down a little?
Cobra: Are you guys attempting to break the sound barrier, or what?
nav: Feel the fresh air in your face, boys! Arrgh!
Morgoth: I DON'T LIKE FRESH AIR, SLOW DOWN PLZ!
Tanks: *comes upstairs to deck* I'm going downstairs to hide! *goes back down*
Aro: I gotta tell you guys... I'm afraid of heights, especially fast heights-
GoC: Was it just me, zyx, or were there a lot of kids in banland?
Basse: *comes up from the brig* Hey, why are we going so damn fast? I can't eat my goddamn spinache!
Gwame: Hey guys, we're approaching the tower. Can we slow down?
Fattybryce: *comes from the cabin, cake smeared all over his face* Did you get him?!
Cobra: SLOW THE HELL DOWN!
Gwame: *sucks thumb violently*
Aro: Uhhhhhhhhh HEY, CAN WE SLOW DOWN?!
nav: Hold onto your hats, mateys. Brace yerselves and such.
Morgoth: FOR WAT?>?!?! WHY ARE WE GO-

Narrator: The Cow Gone Mad speeds through the gaint blue Forum Etiquette thread, bursting through it's exterior and sending the walls around it crumbling! Immediately most of the crew is thrust forward against nav and the steering wheel, as blocks crash onto the ship from the tower's ceiling. A dark blue dust clouds the entire room as the lurching Cow Gone Mad is stopped by the thick brick floor, the crew coughing madly. A figure crawls off of the ship, waving his hand to get the dust out of his face.

???: Damn it dude, I can barely freakin' breathe! Luke, wharz ya baby?!
???: Damn... you had to hit it at full speed, didn't you, nav?
???: lulz that's wat she sai-
???: Thanks a lot, I vomited now. And I'm hungry again.
???: Already handled the vomit, Fatty. Delicious.
???: Wut?!
???: GoC had a plan and I rolled with it. You should've braced yourselves, mateys. Arrgh.
???: YOU SHOULKDNT HAVE USSED THE SETBELTS OR TAKEM THEM OUT OR WATEVER. YOU SUCK!!
???: I thought it was a great plan, and I was correct. Look, we're in.
???: GoC, that wasn't a freakin' plan. That wasn't even mentioned in the *first* plan damn it.
???: I CANNTN SEE, WHReRE AM I, I CANTT SEE teh KEYBAORD
???: It's too dusty in here. Why isn't this dust fading?
???: idk
???: I don't know eith-
All: ...
???: Which one of you corny bastages just 'd?
???: I dunno, 'Ro.
???: SCUD!!!!
???: You double-crossing scallywag! We ought to lynch you by your heels!
???: Don't be like that, people and fair patrons of the immortal Splash Splash insignia, I am on your side and because I am on your side, you should use me for all of the talents I can provide.
???: BUT tyUOR BETRAYYEDS US, I STILL CANTTSEEEEE
???: Well, I guess you were on our side two years ago.
???: Why did you ever betray us, Scuddles?
???: As the great John Stuart Mill Said a long time ago in a land far from HG, "'Tis better to go with the flow, than drown in yellow snow."
All: ...
???: I was all alone and I missed you all and he offered me a dog house and an angel status and I gladly accepted because it was better than what you guys had offered.
All: ...
???: Srsly.
???: Alright, welcome back then, hombre. Care to lead us out of here so we can properly... breath?
???: Follow me everyone.

Scud's light red glow brightens and becomes visible through the fog, and the crew follows him closely through a dark doorway. After they all enter, Scud closes the door behind them, igniting a single torch which lights up the deep blue hallway. The crew examines their surroundings.

Warlord: A long, dark hallway. How quaint.
Aro: Sure does set the mood.
Morgoth: At least I can see my goddamn keyboard. Damn it.
Scud: It's normally pretty bright and luminescent but he keeps black lights to better keep this place dark spooky and mysterious, as it reminds him of the old school RPGs and Final Fantasy games and-
Luke: Okay, he likes it being dark. Let's move along.
Scud: Ah, right-oh, Mister Grabherarse.
Luke: You son-of-a-

Narrator: Various Splashers hold Luke back as Scud continues to lead them onward. The flickering torch gives the illusion of movement on the blank walls, as if the walls were dancing around them... menacingly. They pass page after page, the link to each page of the thread looking exactly the same. One page they pass is open, and they notice that heaps and heaps of garbage lie inside of it.

sly: What's behind all of these doors?
Scud: Spam storage is all that's really within them, nothing but spam spam and more spam I suppose. After Splash Splash was gone and discontinued by FL, they decided to reopen and rename the party thread and this is the result of that decision in any case. This is by far biggest thread at HeavenGames and is full of nothing but absolute spam, just spam as far-
nav: How evil! Those... those bastards.
Thundy: Yeah, and they smell funny too!
OWM: The only funny smelling thing is this room is our recently converted "friend" Scud. I'm getting awfully suspicious... and I'm wondering why none of you are suspicious too?
Aro: I trust Scuddles. He's been a Splasher longer than a lot of you, ya know.
Basse: Yeah, but he's played a sidekick villian acting in his own self-interests in what... three Screenplays now? It's getting kind of obvious.
Aro: Ah-ah-ah, you forgot the golden rule. Trust with your life first, ask why later.
Basse: Kind of a crappy way to look at it.
Aro: Obviously. *You're* kind of a crappy way to look at it.
All: ...
Aro: I KNOW HOW TO TRUST PEOPLE. I was a Seraph for, what, four years! And I trusted all of my staff and I hired Scud before and I trust him LALALA I'M RIGHT!
All: ...
Morgoth: You're losing your bad-ass, Aro.
Aro: *pushes Morgoth onto the floor and kicks dirt into his eyes*
Morgoth: YOUR ARE SO FREAKIN' MEAN.
sly: That doesn't even look like dirt.... Scud, why does FL keep the floors coated in dried acid?
Morgoth: ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHH!!! MOTHERFUUUUUUUUUUU-

Narrator: Finally, the group approaches the very end of the long hallway. They feel a presence, and at once they know it's the evil aura of FL. Scud remains strangely quiet, never once looking back at the crew huddled behind him; instead he continues marching forward. Aro thinks quietly to himself... "Am I making the right decision here? Basse had a good point... but at the same time, I have an equally good point. Maybe I sh-" LOL what absolute nonsense goes on in Aro's head. Anyway, the crew continues down the hallway.

Luke: Why is this taking so long, mate?
Fattybryce: I'm hungry.
Warlord: Fatty being hungry. Real original dialogue. Must be digging from the bottom of the barrel, eh, Fatty?
Fattybryce: Show me the goddamn barrel and I will eat it.
Aro: Where's FL, Scud?
Scud: Well the truth is 'Ro...

Scud stops in his tracks and turns around facing the group. The entire group looks at him, wide-eyed.

Scud: The truth is... *pulls out a long, orange, glowing banstick*
Aro: OMG...
Morgoth: No whay!!!
Luke: You're kidding me...
All: ...
Scud: ...
All: ...
Scud: ...
All: ...
Scud: ... the doorway's over there. *Scud uses his orange banstick points to point at an orange, glowing door at the end of the hallway.*
All: ...
Aro: Oh. For a sec there...
Morgoth: God, Scud's so gay.
nav: Come on guys... it's time for us to finally face him.
xyz: I'm ready. FL's a n00b, no matter what shape he takes. How about the rest of you?
Luke: Yeah... I'm good to go.
Thundy: We're all pumped.
Ornlu: Very, very pumped.
All: ...
xyz: Let's go and kick some ass then!

Narrator: Scud drops the torch onto the ground, takes a deep breath, and the heavy metal door creaks open. He enters, the entire crew following close behind him, entering the room one by one; they each leave the darkness into the orange light, until the hall is once again empty. The door slams shut behind them, the hall echoing it's metallic clank. The torch continues to lie on the floor, flickering. A light popping is echoes out, the small flames illuminating the walls, giving them life. But the flame soon gives into the cold ground, and the flame dies... leaving behind only shimmering red embers. A light smoke rises from these embers, and then fades away into the darkness.

Narrator: Suddenly, the door bursts open! A glowing orange Aro steps through the doorway, bruised and bloody, but a big smile. Several others enter through the doorway behind him.

Aro: Well, holy crap. That was the most ACTION-PACKED FIGHT SEQUENCE in the FREAKIN' world.
xyz: Yeah, notice how I took the lead in kicking some false-dictator ass.
Luke: Hey, give me some credit. I'm the one who spilled that Miller Lite into his eyes. That probably burned. Horribly.
sly: I think the flaming molotov cocktail you threw burned him more, Luke.
Luke: That wasn't a damn molotov cocktail, that was Thunder after I lit him on fire. The bastard made me say "srsly".
Morgoth: But note that the great Morgoth provided the badass death metal soundtrack you all fought to.
Cobra: You guys couldn't have fought him without my distraction of having intercourse with his mother.
Warlord: But it wouldn't have distracted him if I hadn't watched you two, Cobra.
Cobra: True. And when you joined in, boy, was he surprised!
OWM: And when I took pictures and uploaded them to various internet websites, he couldn't even try to contain his rage!
Ornlu: Note how I covered his rear with experience and prowess.
All: ...
Scud: I knew I shouldn't have lent you my ban stick, Ornlu.
All: .....................
NF: I think we owe a lot to Fatty. He's the one who finished off FL for good.
Fattybryce: I only ate his leg and left arm. Note how that Robo-Hitler thing came out of nowhere, Divine Intervention-style, and totally went berserk and started shredding him to pieces.
nav: That was awesome. And now, Aro has his powers again! What do we do next?
Aro: Well, first... I'm getting us the hell out of here. Splash Splash time, anyone?
All: ....
Aro: SHOULD WE GO BACK?!?!
xyz: Of freakin' course, what the hell did we do all of this for?
Aro: Alright, hold onto your skirts, ladies.
All: *hold onto skirts*

Narrator: In a flash, the entire thread is back in the Age of Cookery forum. Instantly the thread's name changes, and so does the name of the forum: Town's Crier.

Luke: Hrm... this place looks awful. How about giving it a tune-up, Aro?
Aro: Yeah, yeah, on it.

Narrator: The once-bleak colors are changed into a very familiar brown scheme; once-broken images are restored; the wasteland that was once Town's Crier is, all at once, clean, almost empty.

Warlord: This place still looks empty.
Aro: Make a thread. PROVIDE DISCUSSION.
Warlord: Fine... what do I talk about?
Aro: Global warming.
Warlord: OK, "your mom" jokes. Gotcha.
Thunder: What about the Scenario Design & Modding forum? Can you bring it back?
Aro: I'm OVERWORKED, damn you. Grrr... working on it....

Narrator: In the distance, an army of figures approach the thread. By their dirty, barbaric appearance, they were clearly former OD forumers.

???: Hey...
Morgoth: HAI!
???: Can we hang here? OD's empty right now... everybody left.
Luke: As long as you follow our rules. By coming here, you're Aro's slave. You cool with that?
???: Yeah, sure, kay.

Narrator: A group of forumers set up a thread in the distance; soon a dozen threads spring up around Splash Splash.

NF: Holy crap, it's working!
sly: They were forced to stay in 4OD for so long to get their comic relief. They must be tired of it.
Luke: Yeah, well... it's good to be back. Very nice change and such. We have a bar?
Aro: Yeah, yeah. *creates a bar*
Luke: Yipee. Be back in a bit, folks. *skips toward bar*
Aro: So... what now?
nav: I guess... nothing.
All: ...
Morgoth: Iron Maiden rules.
Aro: Heathen. I can name twenty better bands RIGHT the hell now.
GoC: I don't listen to much music anymore.
OWM: Mercyful Fate! They rock better than Maiden, right?
Morgoth: THEY'RE NOT REAL MUSIC OR METAL AND THEY SUCK.
Aro: What would *you* know about real music?
Morgoth: What do YOU know about ANYTHING?
Aro: THAT IS IRRELEVANT TO THE DISCUSSION AT HAND!!!
Morgoth: Why wouldn't I know what real music is? HUH?
Gwame: You said rap wasn't music.
Morgoth: And I still think that.
Aro: I PROVED YOU WRONG YEARS AGO AND YOU ADMITTED IT.
Morgoth: PROVE IT JACKASS!!!
Aro: I have WITNESSES?!?!?!
Morgoth: LIES! WHERE? WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?
Aro: YOUR MOTHER FOR ONE!!!!!!!!!!

nav sits down next to sly and watches the show with a smile. The New Splash Splash was back. For how long the mighty thread was back could never matter; it was back again, the crown on the head of Age of Kings Heaven history, as irrelevant as it may seem. And there was never anything more important than that irrelevance. Sweet, sweet irrelevance.


THE END

[This message has been edited by Aro (edited 02-15-2015 @ 03:03 PM).]

AuthorReplies:
azure skies
Squire
(id: ThUnDeR77)
posted 09-21-08 06:26 PM CT (US)     1 / 96       
???: ARE YOU SURE?!?! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?!?!
Aro: Yep.
???: K. *Pulls off hood.*
Aro: OMG...
???: That's right... say my name.
Aro: Robo-Hitler!
Jatayu: No thank you buddy, but I appreciate it!
Mashek: I appreciate you for speaking to me!
matty12345: Thank you again Tanneur!
Jatayu: Likewise!
Tanneur99: You're welcome!
matty12345: Allow me to show my compassion!
Tanneur99: Well shown!
Dave_Earl: Does anybody need to borrow some of my cash?
Jatayu: No thank you buddy, but very kind of you!
Tanneur99: Very kind!
Mashek: Very very kind!
Kor: I think you're all kind!
Dave_Earl: I love you all!
Jatayu: LOL get off my leg buddy, I love you too!
matty12345: I think I speak for all of us when I say, you're all kind, I love you all, and-
Good stuff, Aro. I lol'd on several occasions. Your entries are always the best, imo.

Anyway, I'll contribute (even though I was in last year's and not this one, guilt trip, guil trip, and more guilt trip). But someone could be writing right now. So I may as well get started eh?!
Gwame
Squire
posted 09-21-08 06:56 PM CT (US)     2 / 96       
How dare you not include me!

MY NAME IS GWAME I AM AOKH MEMBER SINCE 2004 AND I HAVE MANY POSTS
BEST SIG OF 2008 AND 2ND BEST SIG OF 2009 (SAME SIG LOLOL)
BEST SIG OF 2008
92% of teenagers have moved on to rap music. If you're on of the 8% that still listens to real music, copy this into your signature.
"^`'*-=~+,._.,+~=-*'`^" "Gwame your sig ain't funny nomore." - morgoth bauglir"^`'*-=~+,._.,+~=-*'`^"
four hundred babies
Squire
(id: Lord_Fadawah)
posted 09-21-08 07:06 PM CT (US)     3 / 96       
I wrote one of these once and it was so lame it ruptured space and time.
azure skies
Squire
(id: ThUnDeR77)
posted 09-21-08 07:33 PM CT (US)     4 / 96       
Splash Splash Screenplay pt. II
By Thunder77

Narrator: When we last left our heroes of the Cow Gone Mad, they had docked in the too-friendly land of Scenario Design.

newIdea: Hey Thundy! How are you today?! =D
Thunder77: *fake smile* Fine, you?!
newIdea: Just working on a map! Got to go! See ya!! =D
Thunder77: Okay bye! *normal face* Holy crap, finally.
*enter CGM Crew*
nav: Yeargh, matey!
Julius999: Here's SD Square, where we all meet and converse everyday.
Morgoth: This town is way too clean.
ax: *litters*
Thunder77: *glances over* CGM!! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!
CGM Crew (unison): Thundy!
Thunder77: Thank God you guys are here! You have to help!
Surge: Why, what's wrong?
Thunder77: I've been trapped here for 8 months! Thats why I haven't been Splashing!
ax: But you made a thread saying you'd leave!
Thunder77: No, I got hacked! They did it!
nav: Yeargh, matey. Quit puttin' exmalation marks at the ends of yer sentences.
Cobra: Why didn't you just leave...?
Thunder77: *deep breath* They wouldn't let me, they said I was "too valuable".
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: What?
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Ok, I lied. They like me 'cuz I smell like pancakes.
ax: Ain't that the truth.
Thunder77: What are you guys doing here anyway?
nav: Yeargh, the TC be gettin' invaded.
Thunder77: WHAT? By who?!
ax: Robo-Hitler.
Surge: Noobs.
Morgoth: Arocrats.
Colo: Your mom!
AK: *punts Colo* AND STAY OUT!
Thunder77: No, really. None of those are possibilities.
Morgoth: I'm sick of you people not appreciating me! I told the truth! *mumbles pouty crap*
Cobra: It's actually Arocrats.
Thunder77: But Morgoth said that. How could it be true?
Morgoth: WTF?!
CGM Crew (unison): Srsly. It's Arocrats.
Thunder77: Ok, ok. What did they want with TC?
Ornlu: I'm tired of reviewing plot information, we've done it already. God.
Thunder77: Whatever. Where are you guys staying?
Surge: Julius999's.
Thunder77: That's a bad idea. He has 1200 pet macaws. They peck your eyes out while you sleep. Rly.
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Rlly!
CGM Crew: ...
Thunder77: Fine, that's a lie too. There's beer at my house...
GoC: I say we go!
CGM Crew: Huzzah!

Narrator: So our our crew departs to Thunder77's house. Meanwhile, in New Splash Splash...

FL: Scud!!
Scud: *panting* Yes, sir?
FL: I need you to watch this holding area. Make sure nobody's up to any...
Scud: Shenanigans?
FL: Fine. Whatever. Be back-
Scud: Soon?
FL: Yes, yes! I need to go blow my n-
Scud: Nose?
FL: Stop finishing my s-
Scud: Sentences?
FL: *glares and points towards Aro's holding chamber*
Scud: Aye aye, sir!
FL: AND DON'T LOOK INSIDE THE CHAMBER.
Scud: Why not sir?
FL: It's uh... not for mortal eyes. Your head will... explode... and stuff... yeah.
Scud: Yes, sir Aro, sir!
*exit FL*
Aro: *looking through hole in the wall* Scud! *bangs on wall*
Scud: *whistles*
Aro: SCUD! IN HERE!
Scud: Lalalala...
Aro: *mumbles* Idiot...
Scud: *turns around* Hm? Was that?
Aro: IN HERE!
Scud: Hm. *looks forward again*
Aro: Sometimes I wonder why I made him a Cherub.

Narrator: Meanwhile, in a tower in the Town's Crier...

SS: Well, what now? Next time Scud comes in here, we're gonna have to take this stuff. We'd better think fast.
Lord_Fadawah [LF]: Pstt, guys. Up here!
TK: *looks through crack in the roof* Hey look, Fadawah's here to save the day!
All: *look up* Hooray!
LF: SHH! Don't let them know I'm here. Here, I brought some sleeping gas. Use it on the guards then escape! *drops it down*
zyx: Ooh, shiney. Me open.
All: Noo!
zyx: *opens* Lalalala.
LF: *covers mouth* zyx, throw it up here! Better me than you!
zyx: R'okay! *tosses up*
LF: I'll be- *cough* back... *passes out*
TK: You really are an idiot, zyx.
zyx: Spank you.

Narrator: Will the CGM save the Town's Crier? Will Aro ever escape to save his people? Will Fadawah ever regain concience? Will zyx stop being stupid?
Tune in next time!

[This message has been edited by Thunder77 (edited 09-21-2008 @ 07:35 PM).]

viperiv
Squire
(id: EpIc CoMmandeR)
posted 09-22-08 02:10 AM CT (US)     5 / 96       
I lol'd at both. Great!.
Aro
AoKH Dictator
posted 09-22-08 02:17 AM CT (US)     6 / 96       
Nice one Thunder.
I lol'd at both. Great!.
Epic's funny! Contribute!

Ľ Your attractive master.
Ľ "Because I before E is a LIE!!!"
morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 09-22-08 10:38 AM CT (US)     7 / 96       
Not enough of this unearthly greatness you mortals call Morgoth.

Morgoth Bauglir/Quaazi - BORINGMETAL HEADTWAT
Huidin's Belief - The Siege (4.4) - 2475 - Birth Of The Uruk-Hai (4.1) (Best Sound of 2008)
Signature currently under construction. If you want to help out and provide me with the resources needed, download from the above links.
Julius999
Imposter
posted 09-22-08 11:28 AM CT (US)     8 / 96       
I feature. Hurrah. Even as a crazy native.

1010011010
[ All_That_Glitters | Pretty_Town_Contest | Other_AoK_Designs | AoE_Designs ]
Member of Stormwind Studios
Warlord002
Squire
posted 09-22-08 11:31 AM CT (US)     9 / 96       
Scud, you slimball.
Scud is a thin ball?

_______
|Warlord|
Owner of post 12345 in the New Splash Splash
Member of Blackforest Studios
Lord Basse
MI6 Scenario-Making Machine
posted 09-22-08 12:34 PM CT (US)     10 / 96       
Haha! Great acts so far, hope I don't lower the level all too much




Splash Splash Screenplay Part III
by Basse.

Narrator: Nwo back to our heroes in Thunder's house;

Basse: Nice place you have.
Morgoth: Where's the beer?
Thunder: I'll go fetch it.
GoC: Fine.
Thunder. Yea.
Morgoth: Good.
Colo: Great.
Thunder: Yea.
GoC: ... Off you go then.
Thunder: err, yea, truth is...
Morgoth: There is no beer isn't there?
Thunder: No.
CGM Crew: *Sigh*
Epic: At least we have papayas!
Basse: we don't.
Epic: Oh.
Thunder: Right. Um, you guys can sleep in the living room, I'll go find some blankets...
Basse: Dibs on the bed!
OWM: In your dreams
Thunder: Hey, no, that's MY... *sigh*
Cobra: Those blankets coming along?
Ornlu: That couch is mine.
Epic: In your dreams!
OWM: Get your own lines kid
Warlord: What's the point of this scene anyway?
Thunder: Don't eat the flowers!
GoC: But I'm hungry
Thunder: Well, have some proper food!
GoC: There is none.
Thunder: No...
GoC: See my problem here?
Morgoth: I DEMAND ATTENTION!
Surge: Quiet n00b.
Thunder: I guess I'll just sleep on the hard floor, in my own house, all alone...
OWM: I'd join you
Thunder: You would?
OWM: Nah.
DaVe: Hi guys.
nav: Where'd you come from?
DaVe: I've been here all the time
Surge: No you haven't
DaVe: Yes I have, I just never said anything.
Ornlu: If you don't say anything in a screenplay, you don't exist
DaVe: Blame it on the writers.
Morgoth: LISTEN TO ME!

Narrator: Right. We'll leave our heroes for the time being and let them sort out their problems and conveniently move a huge distance in the blink of an eye to the stinky Towns Crier.

SS: Must... have... food!
TK: Shut up, we've only been here for an hour.
SS: They're going to starve us to death those socialist arses!
TK: It's not like you're going to be dead after an hour or two in here
SS: Who knows? Eventually, we'll have to start to eat each other in order to survive...
All: ...
Bleedteal: Get me out of here.
Solivago: Calm down, what's the worst that could happend?
CK: That!

Narrator: CK pointed in fear towards a door in the stone wall that swung open, and out of it came... what? What emerged from the deep darkness of Rottingham Palace's secret tunnels? Will Aro de-cherubize Scud? Will Robo-Hitler have an appearance after all? All this and more next time, and next time, and the time after that, and- you get my point.

__[]_________
|||||||||||||||||
The ||||||||||||||||| Hus
OF | [/ \] |Į| [/ \] | ME
______________________________________________________________________________ |__ _ |Į|____|_______________________________________________________________________________
The Relics of AthalŽn (5.0) | AoK Opus - 95,000+ downloads | StormWind Studios | "I consider the conversion of Basse to be one of the great triumphs of my modding crusade" - Matt LiVecchi
morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 09-22-08 12:44 PM CT (US)     11 / 96       
Morgoth: Where's the beer?
Morgoth: I DEMAND ATTENTION!
You got my character right.

Morgoth Bauglir/Quaazi - BORINGMETAL HEADTWAT
Huidin's Belief - The Siege (4.4) - 2475 - Birth Of The Uruk-Hai (4.1) (Best Sound of 2008)
Signature currently under construction. If you want to help out and provide me with the resources needed, download from the above links.
Lord Basse
MI6 Scenario-Making Machine
posted 09-22-08 12:52 PM CT (US)     12 / 96       
Thought so .

__[]_________
|||||||||||||||||
The ||||||||||||||||| Hus
OF | [/ \] |Į| [/ \] | ME
______________________________________________________________________________ |__ _ |Į|____|_______________________________________________________________________________
The Relics of AthalŽn (5.0) | AoK Opus - 95,000+ downloads | StormWind Studios | "I consider the conversion of Basse to be one of the great triumphs of my modding crusade" - Matt LiVecchi
Mr Wednesday
Cavalier
(id: matty12345)
posted 09-22-08 12:57 PM CT (US)     13 / 96       
I shall have to contribute, but Aro get online, I have to clear my portion with you first.

"And Matt is a prolific lurker, watching over the forum from afar in silence, like Batman. He's the president TC needs, and possibly also the one it deserves." - trebuchet king

[This message has been edited by Matt LiVecchi (edited 09-22-2008 @ 01:31 PM).]

KayanZ
Squire
(id: ZayanK)
posted 09-22-08 01:37 PM CT (US)     14 / 96       
At some point I will appear wielding a deadly machete in each of my hands.

Patience...
Eaglehaslanded
Squire
posted 09-22-08 02:29 PM CT (US)     15 / 96       
*much fury*

.^/Į/        Eaglehaslanded
  \  /~   
  ///      You, sir, are a wench - Scud
 '' ''     You, Sir, are a wrench - Reach
Mr Wednesday
Cavalier
(id: matty12345)
posted 09-22-08 02:43 PM CT (US)     16 / 96       
Splash Splash Screenplay Part IV
By Matt

Narrator: Outside the dungeon, the "fearless leader" releases NN.

FL: I am letting you go, run fast, I may change my mind.
NN: I am eternally indebted to the generosity so manifest in your gracious persona. I shall from this day forth-
FL: I said run.
NN: Right *runs*
Scuddles: Master, was that wise?
FL: He will run where?
Scud: To the SSer's of course...
FL: Precisely, Scud. Precisely.
Scud: Another tissue, Master?

Narrator: Matty, a citizen of SD, walks in on the lounging SSer's digesting the news from NN of the imprisoned forummers...

Matty: Sup guys
Nav: ...
Morgoth: ghey noob!

Matty: Look guys, I am not so bad, I post in SS alot, I-I...
Morgoth: Ever been banned?
Matty: No but...
Solivago: Ever been given a moderational email discussing your behavioral tendencies on the internet forum under consideration for the present?
Matty: ...
nav: He means have you ever been warned.
Matty: No uh, well
Quazzi: EVER SPAM LOL!11!!1111!?
Matty: Well there was this one time and...
GoC: He is a SDer
Matty: But Scuddles and I are pals, he can vouch for me!
Group: ...
Matty: What?
GoC: Scuddles is the enemy now, joined the Arocrats.
Matty: That is so sad.
Surge: Shut up
Cobra: Don't you SDer's ever show emotion other than kindness?
Matty: Uh, no. Well there is this one guy, but he doesn't mingle as much with the town...
Group: ?
Surge: an SDer with a mean streak? Not possible...
GoC: We need to meet this fellow.
Matty: Not a good idea, He lives up on a mountain in a hut. Strange noises come from there, he has been building something.
Quaazi: LETS SPAM HIS HOUSE!
Cobra: name?
Matty: His name is Luke Gevearts...

Narrator: The crew with Matty at the lead walk all the way to the top of the mountain, and knock on the door to the hut...

Voice from inside: If you want to know if ATW is finished, come back in 20 years!
Cobra: What is ATW?
Matty: Scenario he is making
Group: ...
GoC: I think it is safe to say he is a SDer. Common gang, back down the mountain.
Voice: And don't come back again you squad of miserable drivel incapable of intellectual thought befitting a monkey.
Group: ...
GoC: We better go in.

Narrator: The crew (and matty) get to know Luke, and discover he is suprisingly cool. After a while he stops berating them and the subject of Aro and Scuddles
and the situation comes up.


GoC: What is worse, there are some SSer's with the B grade characters imprisoned by Aro.
Solivago: The confinement station they have been quartered in is positively unbreachable even to
those of us with such superior lexicons as myself.
Surge: NN means we can't break them out.
Matty: I could...
Quaazi: lolwut?
Matty: through a modification of the DAT file, we can alter the graphic slot and...
Group: Oh no...
Luke: But you will need my help. I have just the thing *dives into workshop*
Basse: You said ATW was a scenario?
Luke: Look do you seriously think I could be designing one scenario for 6 years. Have any of you thought what ATW stands for?
Ornlu: ...Against thee--
Luke: No. Aro Tranquilizing Weapon
Group: Oooohh
Matty: See us SDer's can be useful too!
Cobra: Shut up
Luke: Matty, lets get to work.


Narrator: 3 hours later Matty and Luke and the SS crew were assembled at the town's center with an odd looking machine.

Julius: What does it do?
Luke: it zaps that bastard Aro, unlocks the jail cell and transports the prisoners here.
Tannuer: Clever
Mashek: Cool technology Matt and Luke.
Matty: thnx guys, uh, oh no. *points*
Group: What?
Matty: look
Surge: Is that who I think it is...
Dantares IV: What is this?
Matty: nothing it is just...
Dantares: How did you make that? I smell a rat.
Matty: Well some editing and such went to work here and there, but only to--
Dantares: Oh NOES! A modpack!
Matty: but this isn't even Aok...
Luke: Get over it, tool.
Dantares: He swore at me! And he is a mod! Corruption! *Begins firing off emails to HG Exco*
Surge: But tool isn't a swearword...
Dantares: Now everyone is swearing at me! A conspiracy! You are all worse than Colo!

Narrator: Dantares draws Rocket propelled grenade and blows the Aro Tranquilizing Weapon to ash. He always had a thing for guns, and this was the perfect time to use one from his collection. The gang sat looking at the firy heap. What now? Would anything save the imprisoned SSer's?Was Fearless Leader tracking them at that moment already? Stay tuned...

"And Matt is a prolific lurker, watching over the forum from afar in silence, like Batman. He's the president TC needs, and possibly also the one it deserves." - trebuchet king

[This message has been edited by Matt LiVecchi (edited 09-22-2008 @ 03:01 PM).]

Mr Wednesday
Cavalier
(id: matty12345)
posted 09-22-08 02:45 PM CT (US)     17 / 96       
My first attempt at one of these, don't complain too much. I had to work with the terrible starting position Aro gave my character.

"And Matt is a prolific lurker, watching over the forum from afar in silence, like Batman. He's the president TC needs, and possibly also the one it deserves." - trebuchet king
morgoth bauglir
Squire
posted 09-22-08 02:58 PM CT (US)     18 / 96       
Nice, especially with my name changes into misspelled alternatives.

Morgoth Bauglir/Quaazi - BORINGMETAL HEADTWAT
Huidin's Belief - The Siege (4.4) - 2475 - Birth Of The Uruk-Hai (4.1) (Best Sound of 2008)
Signature currently under construction. If you want to help out and provide me with the resources needed, download from the above links.
Lord Basse
MI6 Scenario-Making Machine
posted 09-22-08 02:58 PM CT (US)     19 / 96       
Good, and great ending! .

__[]_________
|||||||||||||||||
The ||||||||||||||||| Hus
OF | [/ \] |Į| [/ \] | ME
______________________________________________________________________________ |__ _ |Į|____|_______________________________________________________________________________
The Relics of AthalŽn (5.0) | AoK Opus - 95,000+ downloads | StormWind Studios | "I consider the conversion of Basse to be one of the great triumphs of my modding crusade" - Matt LiVecchi
Mr Wednesday
Cavalier
(id: matty12345)
posted 09-22-08 03:06 PM CT (US)     20 / 96       
Fixed Quaaaaazi. And next time, I shall remember 2 a's and one z

"And Matt is a prolific lurker, watching over the forum from afar in silence, like Batman. He's the president TC needs, and possibly also the one it deserves." - trebuchet king
nav
Squire
(id: nav_2004)
posted 09-22-08 08:00 PM CT (US)     21 / 96       
Wow, Aro. That's really one of the best foundations of a screenplay that we've ever had to begin with. Hopefully we don't all ruin it.



(This space intentionally left blank.)
newIdea
Illuminator
posted 09-22-08 08:59 PM CT (US)     22 / 96       
newIdea: Hey Thundy! How are you today?! =D
Thunder77: *fake smile* Fine, you?!
newIdea: Just working on a map! Got to go! See ya!! =D
I resent the idea that all I'm good for is sneaking away to design scenarios.

*sneaks away to design a scenario*



dannyking.me


Aro
AoKH Dictator
posted 09-22-08 10:48 PM CT (US)     23 / 96       
Awesome stuff so far. You guys are really developing the subplots excellently. I'll update the topic after my next contribution. (And now... my next contribution....)

Splash Splash Screenplay Part V
By Aro

Last time in the SS Screenplay, Dantares burned Luke's much-touted "Aro Tranquilizing Weapon" to ash, much to the dismay of the CGM crew.

Seriously... they're pissed.


Luke: Son of a ...
Matty: ...
GoC: *eye twitches*
Morgoth: WAT
KOJ_jkol0: i'm a teacher!
Basse: ...flehflehflehflehfleh....
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!111!! OMFG!!!
Eaglehaslanded(EHL): Oh noe-
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!! WTF OMGGGG!!!!
EHL: Oh n-
Thunder: AAAAAAAAAAH OMG! WHAT THE HELL?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!
Dantares: *smokes a cigar and smiles* Yep, that'll do 'er.

Dantares leaves Luke's hut, unsure of how he got there to begin with.

Matty: I'm gonna get this kid. Somebody hold me back.
All: ...
Matty: OK... So am I to understand that nobody's going to hold me back?
Luke: Go ahead.
All: ...
Matty: I'm serious. I'll get him. Real good.
nav: We bet.
Matty: What, you don't think I can?
Luke: Look, here's the deal. If you don't strike him down right now, I will do it for you. And that doesn't make it seem like you're doing your job moderating this joint. Understood?
Matty: Well... I guess.
Luke: Go get him, slugger.
Ornlu: Did somebody say joint?

Narrator: Matty travels down the surprisingly stylish Scenario Design mountain, unsure of how he is going to handle this situation. See, Matty had never used his mod powers before, except closing that one thread that one time when he was asked to close the thread by a close friend who also happened to own the thread in question and simply wanted it closed because his question was answered. But how was he going to handle *this*, his very first ban? What the hell's that Code of Conduct thing he was supposed to read? What if he can't go through with it?

Meanwhile, in the ruins of the Town's Crier, the disguised Fearless Leader makes his way down a dark stone hallway with Scud, their footsteps echoing throughout the tower.


Scud: My Lordship, you should really fix the lighting.
FL: It sets the mood, damn you....
Scud: I know, but the light is so dim, 'Ro. I can barely read anything, and see, this one time, I was trying to read the latest EB patch readme, and I couldn't read it at all, the words were getting all jumbled together, and I was having trouble deciphering exactly what each one of those bastards were saying, so I was all-

Narrator: Slouching slightly, Scud turns completely red and every muscle in his body tenses up, as he proceeds to rip off his shirt.

Scud: MOTHER****ING RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!11!!1
FL: GOODNESS MAN, WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!
Scud: Well, **** 'Ro, you don't understand just how frustrating it is to read when there's dim lighting-
FL: Look, shut up. Shut your damn mouth. Listen to my evilesque monologue.
Scud: I don't see where you're going with this.
FL: You never heard it yet!
Scud: I'm listening damn it! *scowls* Go go go go go go right ahead 'Ro, I mean jesus christ, all I try to do is-
FL: The stones are being carefully placed. You see, what's the normal conclusion of these Splash Splash adventures?
Scud: Well, in my literary studies of what makes a truly great and fulfilling story, the good guys win and the bad guys lose.
FL: Exactly. We're being portrayed as the bad guys. But what if we made everyone else think that we're the good guys? Majority rules, amirite?
Scud: I see where you're going with this.
FL: No you don't. You see, if we can gather the mandate from all of Age of Kings Heaven, and HeavenGames as a whole... if I can become the definitive ruler of Age of Kings Heaven, we *can* win! If the Splashers are completely alienated and despised by the whole of HeavenGames, where oh where will they go? They will be forced to leave! And with that scum Ghost of Caesar out of my way, and that smelly captain nav eliminated, and that-
Scud: Ah, if we make them all into Arocrats, Arocrat is Arocrat and we are winz.
FL: ....
Scud:
FL: Alright then.
Scud:
FL: Go away.
Scud: Oh, alright. Bye bye 'Ro.
*Scud leaves.*
FL: God, this is too much. How the hell can I plan with that DAMN Scud following me everywhere? Oh well... I need as many insiders as I can. *pulls out the staff roster list, and slowly moves his finger down through the names* Hmm... not a whole lot to work with here.... Luke, Matty, Tanneur, Mashek, from the SD community. Perhaps I could make a deal with them, so they'll keep the Splashers out of my operations.

Narrator: A mysterious figure enters the room.

????: Hi Aro, you e-mailed me?
FL: Haha, ah yes... GillB, super-mod herself, representing the EXCO and God Himself.
GillB: Yes... that's right....
FL: Gill B, moderator of OD and the only one who could possibly stop a powerful, evil, corrupt leader who's clearly out of control.
GillB: Yeah....
FL: Gill B, the one member of the EXCO HeavenGames looks to in times of need, the most active and world-renou-
GillB: Aro... what exactly do you want?
FL: What any power-driven individual such as myself wants, my dear... YOU TO PERISH!

Narrator: In a cloud of smoke, GillB is teleported into a different dimension, one called "WORLD OF WARCRAFT". She clearly enjoys this new surrounding and it's a nice departure from the normal political climate she's exposed to.

FL: Muahahaha! NOW WITH THE EXCO OUT OF THE WAY, WHO WILL STOP ME?!?! WHO?!?!
Aro: *from down the hall, still captured pinned up against the wall* Meee!
FL: STFU N00B!!1!11

Narrator: In the basement of the New Splash Splash, the Splasher oldies continue to rot.

SS: I'm *so* going to eat you.
Bleedteal: Stay the hell away.
SS: No... I'm hungry.
Bleedteal: Let go of my leg.
SS: NO!!
Bleedteal: Get off damn you, it's only been a few hours, and you ate twenty pounds of raw shrimp on the boat!
SS: FINE BUT I'M LONELY!!!
xyz: We need to get out of here. Fadawah's incapacitated, clearly no fault of my own. But let's ask ourselves... how come NN got a free pass?
CK: No clue... I thought for sure I was pointing to a forumer eating another forumer, but apparently it was to draw attention to NN getting out.
xyz: It's those sort of twists we need to keep motivated and encouraged. Alright, I have an idea. This is a cage, right.
All: *group nod*
xyz: Let's walk through the door.
All: ...
TK: xyz, you innovator you.
xyz: I try.
Monk: Isn't the door locked?
xyz: ... No. Scud didn't lock it before he left.
Monk: Why didn't you tell us that earlier?
xyz: To be completely honest, I wanted to see SS eat Bleedteal.
All: ...
CK: Yeah, us too.

Narrator: Does Matty have the guts to *ban* a forumer? What will the Splashers do in Luke's hut while Matty's away? Who could possibly stop Fearless Leader if the EXCO clearly can't? Can the Splasher oldies escape from the New Splash Splash dungeons?! What the hell is ?!?! FIND OUT IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SPLASH SPLASH SCREENPLAY: THE AROCRACY RULES!!!!11!!!11!

*RANDOM EXPLOSION OMFG, STREAM CREDITS*

Ľ Your attractive master.
Ľ "Because I before E is a LIE!!!"
sly_guy
Squire
posted 09-23-08 00:30 AM CT (US)     24 / 96       
Splash Splash Screenplay, Part VI
By sly_guy

Narrator: When we last saw matty, he was rushing off down the SD mountain, on his way to ban Dantares.

Matty (to himself): ok, just calm down and breathe, you can do this. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS. Iím a moderator, for heavenís sake; of COURSE I can do this! All I have to do is give a good reason for banning him... *searches through his printout of the Code of Conduct* hmmm... maybe I could use this against him... nah, itís not good enough... But wait! Whatís this? ď.. and discourage activities which disrupt our community ...Ē This is perfect! Dantares is being disruptive with his extremist views on modpacks! Mwahahaha! Heís history!

Narrator: a few moments later, we see matty catch up to Dantares.

Matty: Dantares, weíve put up with your disruptive behaviour long enough.
Dantares: You canít ban me, I havenít done anything wrong! Look at the Code of Conduct!
Matty: Apparently you forgot a little bit of it. See, this part right here.... *points to the section he found earlier* Youíve been disruptive, and we canít have that in the forums. And furthermore, youíve been warned to keep your views on mudpacks to yourself, so this is it. Youíre banned. *hits Dantares with his banstick*
*Dantares faints*

Narrator: Meanwhile, back at Lukeís hut, the forumers are still trying to come up with ideas.

Luke: Damn, thatís six yearsí work down the tube like that. *snaps fingers*
Quaazi: Ack!
All:...
Quaazi: He scared me when he snapped his fingers, 's all.
nav: Right. Sorry Ďbout that Luke. Anyways, anyone have any bright ideas?
Basse: No, nothingís coming to mind.
Ornlu: me neither.
Luke: I swear, if matty doesnít have the guts to finish him off... Iíll- *everyone looks at Luke* What? Iíve got a right to be angry. None of you have worked on a project for six years, so you donít know how it feels.
Thunder: Relax, Luke. And no, I donít have any ideas either.
(Voice from in the back): Hey, why donít we try using one of my new programs?
Basse: Jatayu? Whatíre you doing here? I thought you spent a lot of your time over at Modding Mountain!
Jatayu: Yeah, well, no-oneís ever there, so Iíve moved to SD Mountain. It looks much nicer too, what with all the-
nav: What were you saying about one of your programs?
Jatayu: Well, you know my ModWorkshop utility pack? Uhh, it doesnít just create .SLPs. Itíll actually move them around in the DRS file.
Thunder:... so? How is that gonna help us?
Jatayu: It can move .SLPs, which are basically pictures.
Quaazi: what does it moving pictures have to do with us?
Luke: Wait, I think I know where youíre going with this, Jatayu. Guys, get ready for a wild ride!
Jatayu: Ummm, I havenít actually gotten all of the bugs out yet. Mainly because nobodyís given me feedback, but it should work.
Basse: WHAT should work?!? And whatís Luke talking about?
Jatayu: It can move US.
All: ...
Quaazi: You want me to get teleported in that... THING?! No way, Iím out of here!
Luke: You want a warning for being disruptive or not?
Quaazi: No, I guess Iíll come along, then.
Nnav: Right then, whoís first?
Jatayu: Um, it should be able to take you all at once. Seeing as each SLP is made of different bitmaps...
Thunder: Right, whatever. Weíll all go, except you Jatayu, since you need to stay behind and enter in the commands.
Jatayu: *nods & pales slightly* Right. In you go guys. Oh, where do you need to go? I need to specify an output directory.
Luke: Just leave it blank for now. Anywhere would be closer than here.
Jatayu: Are... are you sure you want to do that? *Luke nods* Ok, then.

Narrator: And... theyíre off! The CGM crew is sent hurtling through the time-space continuum of HG. Where will they end up? Will Matt ever be able to catch up with them? Will we see more of the Fearless Leader, and who is going to try and stop him? And finally, are the old Splashers willing to follow xyzís cunning escape plan? Find out in the next installment!

- ک

Ladies and Gentlemen, wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

This message has been brought to you by procrastination and the letters K and V.
sly_guy
Squire
posted 09-23-08 00:32 AM CT (US)     25 / 96       
You'll have to excuse the crappy writing, folks. Like matty, this is my first time, and I thought I'd give it a whirl.

And somehow I managed to keep from writing myself in. Anyone can feel free to do so.

- ک

Ladies and Gentlemen, wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

This message has been brought to you by procrastination and the letters K and V.

[This message has been edited by sly_guy (edited 09-23-2008 @ 00:36 AM).]

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