The background for this: right now, I am sifting through everything I have ever owned, with the intention of throwing away most of it. Right now, I'm on to all my old school work amongst all the other crap that I have found slotted in between successive work books and pinned together sheets of mathematics. Such as: a giant poster of almost completely naked wrestlers, all sweaty and touching each other up (childhood sexuality suddenly pulled into question), a map of all of the alps (for some reason, I own such a thing), some kind of hideous faded wall hanging thing with a picture of a dog on it (I will never know why I bought that) and perhaps most shockingly: some kind of strange in-ear thing that looks disturbingly like something that could have application on a lower orifice.
On to the actual point of this thread: some of the schoolwork I've dug out, I have saved from the bin in favor of first running them through a scanner so that I can use them to construct a CV of my many superhuman talents. You will find that below.
Joshua Lambie
This is what I look like -
I am...
A capable athlete (and dresser) since the age of four -
Capable of understanding complex theological constructs since the age of five -
Dashing and charismatic enough to be pursuing romantic relationships from the age of six -
An acceptable taste in music from the age of seven -
Survived dreadful illness of doom at the age of eight. Character slightly more built. Was blown to smithereens by classmates upon return -
Computer literate (kinda) from the age of nine -
Beautifully artistic poet from the age of ten -
Capable cook of many complex Michelin star dishes from the age of eleven -
Brutally cynical from the age of twelve -
Master of the French language from the age of fourteen -
Performer of the most hideous guitar ditties from the age of fifteen -
Also, I found some pictures of me from a trip to Alton Towers a couple of years ago. I look very clean shaven in all of them.One, two and three.
Also, in reality most of the attributions of age on this list are totally estimated. I actually have very little idea as to when I did most of these things.
On to the actual point of this thread: some of the schoolwork I've dug out, I have saved from the bin in favor of first running them through a scanner so that I can use them to construct a CV of my many superhuman talents. You will find that below.
This is what I look like -
I am...
Also, I found some pictures of me from a trip to Alton Towers a couple of years ago. I look very clean shaven in all of them.
[This message has been edited by Felix Waters (edited 08-02-2013 @ 04:08 PM).]