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I hate snow

Author File Description
File Details
Version: The Conquerors 1.0c
I HATE SNOW ! Cutscene.

For AOK TC patch 1.0c
Modpack : 'Deutsch ohne Muehe' (optional)


Instead of the traditional Christmas cutscene, here's a New-Year's one.
A good occasion to explore another kind of cliche...

Do not expect an aesthetic romantic dream-teaser,with the dialog's words arriving in ones and twos, small spotlighted areas disappearing from the map and sophisticated stuff like that.
It's quite another style, using panoramic views, plenty of half-visible details, and flirting with menacing shadows, to convey this very simple tale full of sound and fury...
And a postcard, even animated, has got something written on the other side.

Congratulations for downloading despite that description, you're brave indeed!

So, let's shake the good old vanilla ?

Zip contents : 1 cpx file + 1 mp3 sound file (not to be opened with MediaPlayer,remember,it may crash the game).I suppose that you already know where to put them .
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AuthorComments & Reviews   ( All | Comments Only | Reviews Only )
Official Reviewer
I loved it, wonderful cinematic. The first time I played on fast to go with the music, then I replayed on normal speed with pause to click everything in sight, thank you, you made my day with your submission. :)
File Author
@ Tanneur
I'm very glad you enjoyed it, because I must confess that one of my purposes in doing this was to cheer you up a bit... Thank you so much for everything you do for us, and please, please, don't give up !
all my best, S.
Jimmy2 That snow looks very neat. D-d-d-download!
File Author
@ Jimmy
Thank you for taking the time to download and comment this. Hope you enjoyed it a bit !
Turty I love snow.

This was an entertaining cutscene that seemed to brighten my day. Well done, and thank you for uploading this!
File Author
Hi Turty,thanks for your nice comment. Beginners like me are craving for feedback, because we are always in doubt when submitting our stuff ...being half-convinced that it's not worth a single download!
Lord Basse
Official Reviewer
Map Design4.0
Downloading “I Hate Snow”, I was expecting an atmospheric winter scenario about the lamp pictured in the description’s screenshot, perhaps even a little rip-off of Julius999’s “An Unseasonal Tale” since I didn’t know much at all about the designer. I was wrong. Completely wrong. In a completely good way. In fact, I sat laughing through most of the cut-scene. That’s what “I Hate Snow” is, a full cut-scene. And it’s one of those cut-scenes you can laugh at for a good while because their jokes are so good.

“I Hate Snow” is a peculiar, odd laughter fest of a scenario. It starts out giving resemblance to both “An Unseasonal Tale” (the sheep instead of a turkey) and “Legends of Chila” (the star-clattered sky). After fixing the settings and getting the cut-scene started, it transforms immediately into one of the oddest scenes I’ve seen in good scenario. In the background we have some ye olde Teutonic-reggae music playing, on screen there’s skating samurais and a caravan of relic carts driving by in a snowy scene. I was baffled by the scene because of its randomness, and as the game continued on with other such humorous scenes throughout it all, I truly enjoyed this a lot, and I would’ve given this a five if it wasn’t for how the game rushes towards the end. In many scenes, there’s little time to read all the text popping up, even less to click on all renamed objects to get the full joke of the scenario. Otherwise, the humor really builds this short cut-scene, and it deserves a high score.

There’s no fighting included at all.

I doubt this idea has ever been made before, a couple going on vacation to find a perfect spot to spend New Year’s Eve. The way they travel across the alps and down to Nice in just 13 minutes, bringing up a load of jokes that could easily have fit well into an hour-long cut-scene. I don’t want to give away too much, you’ll see it all once you play it, but I can tell you that there is A LOT. To give a few examples; custom officials doing body-searches for the fun of it, Mercedes Benz ads and cannabis plantations in the Alps. The tricks used in the cut-scene are all but new, but there are many of them, and the very map design is creative and suits the cut-scene fantabulously well. Therefore, this deserves a max point here.

The map design suits the story and atmosphere perfectly, and many scenes look really good. One example is the old style village in the Alps. Although there are a few things I’d point out as bad or at least mediocre, the view in all looks quite good. That goes for the entire map, which consists of both snowy landscapes and warm city design. The map design isn’t outstanding, and the Golden Beach looks very silly, although it perhaps emphasized the joke. All in all, very fitting for the style and atmosphere, but certainly not flawless.

There are no objectives except that you’re asked to watch the cut-scene and enjoy it the best you can. The instructions are clear and easily understandable and leave little room for the watcher to err. There is a story, quite a humorous one with plenty of good jokes, but it is quite hard to follow. Since most of the scenes flash by, there’s little time to grasp everything that’s going on. The shallow characters make for some good laughs and funny scenes, but they’re not interesting in any other aspect. The fact that small parts of the instructions are written in German doesn’t make things easier for me, this because I speak German about as good as pigs do bungee-jumping with hemp-ropes.

ALL IN ALL: A very humorous cut-scene that makes for many good laughs. Certainly worth a download, although it’s hardly one of those classics you can play over and over again. If you’re feeling down and need a good laugh, this is a good dose of effective medicine.

(Note: I played the game without the mod pack because I simply couldn't find it in the Blacksmith)
Lord Basse
Official Reviewer
I truly loved this lil' scenario, thanks a lot for making it sissi! As my review sais it had its downsides, but all in all it was a wonderful cut-scene. (:D
File Author
I do appreciate such an honour, considering that is only my second submission. Thank you very much, I'm looking forwards to read the complete review soon !
Edit :
Wow, thank you for that review. That is a precious feedback, a fine analysis that will help me improve things next time.
"I played the game without the mod pack because I simply couldn't find it in the Blacksmith"
Good one, lol !

N B for future downloaders
There are no instructions in German, they are only quotes from Heine most famous poem 'Die Lorelei'.
I translate here roughly :
'I don't know what it means, that I'm so sad'
'A fairytale from ancient times that I cannot get out of my mind'
Sorry for being donnish...I just couldn't miss that joke (and pun).But I agree, that's cheap.

And yes it's a story with anti-heroes and nothing happening ( from 'waiting for Godot' to 'Troll Bridge' this has been done before...) ,that was to emphasize the fact that YOU are the main character here. You are free to hurry up, like one more tourist, or linger a bit to see what's going on : just slow down or marcopolo it! You're FREE, by Jove !
We are but one of that fantastic international bunch of weirdos, playing a 10 years old game, and trying to say sth through a handful of triggers...So don't think, and you'll get the message!

[Edited on 12/28/08 @ 05:47 AM]

Official Reviewer
This is the most certifiably insane scenario I've ever seen. Very funny.
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Map Design4.5
Favorites: [Who?]2
Size:7.34 MB